The Advantaged

Shoulders of a Man Part 2

2010-10-04T21:41:00.001-05:00

I mentioned in my last post that I had read a captivating collection of insight, truth, beauty and sorrow entitled "A Wife's Eyes are the Window to a Man's Soul" written by Randy Elrod. I'll come back to truth again, but want to touch on insight.

I'm reminded of a passage in Wild At Heart where author John Eldredge writes of his own interactions with women. He describes talking with a woman and internally asking: "what is God revealing about Eve? What is He revealing about himself?" There's such wisdom and power in those questions.

We all have that opportunity everyday, all the time. This kind of awareness is evident in Randy's observations about his associates wives over the years. Oh that we would all live so aware.

Human interaction is so much more than sight, touch and sound. It is about life. It empowers, feeds and fills us, if we will let it.

I hope you will.

Shoulders of a Man

2010-10-02T09:08:00.001-05:00

I read a captivating collection of insight, truth, beauty and sorrow yesterday entitled "A Wife's Eyes are the Window to a Man's Soul." It was written by Randy Elrod and I encourage you to read it here. Actually, implore would be a more accurate word - GO READ IT!

I suspect this will develop into a series, but I at least have to talk about the weight of Randy's observations and the fact that this weight is squarely on the shoulders of the man. Though the cliche "when momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" might be amusing, it is wrong. The truth is that when daddy ain't a man, ain't nobody happy. And I've grown to accept and appreciate this fact as you'll see below.

The mantle of leadership in a marriage sits squarely on the shoulders of the man. It cannot be removed, it is not there by the choice of either individual and it is there whether the two parties involved recognize it or not.

Three thoughts:

I know I'm on the thin ice of "wives be in submission to your husband" and the associated abusive actions, teachings and destroyed families. But that just proves the point. The leadership in a marriage - good, bad or indifferent - decides it's fate. And the leadership is the man.
The weight of this mantle is crushing. It is of grave importance, difficult to do well, hard to define and under constant attack from both the world and the wife. It's supposed to be. As Randy states, this is about the measure of a man and no man can be a man without overcoming challenges and adversity (no woman either).
The mantle can be managed, and it can be managed well. How? Submission.

I've found that the only way to successful manage this mantle of authority is to submit to both the role itself and the One who bestowed it. This helps me shut out my gut reactions of wanting to run, hide, cower or control - and believe me, I want to do all of those ALL the time. Instead, I remind myself that if I'm in the role, I must therefore be "qualified." At the same time though, I am deeply aware that I'm not qualified at all and cannot succeed without the guidance and council of God in all matters.

It's a delicate balance because it's easy to get it wrong. I spend my life going back and forth between "I'm the MAN" and "here God, fix this!" It's ugly. And damaging. When I hit the right balance though, it's power-ful for those around me and myself.

The mantle of leadership in a marriage is bestowed upon the man for the purpose of blessing. it is meant to not only bless the wife, children and community (the world), it is meant to bless the man. Reread the final section of Randy's post with this in mind and imagine the man who's wife has "Fulfilled Eyes".

Do you think he's blessed? Blessed indeed.

Deceptive Distraction

2010-07-15T11:27:00.001-05:00

A dear and powerfully insightful friend wrote a couple of posts on his blog this week and I've been a part of the ongoing conversation over there. Instead of commenting on his latest post, I'm writing here for more room. It all started as a result of a fascinating, but incriminating report by the Barna Group siting all How Teenagers' Faith Practices are Changing. I'm sure you can guess they're NOT changing for the better.

I commented: "Probably because I'm reading Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy, but my answer to why is that we've been deceived into accepting the Gospel of "Sin Management" instead of heaven on earth and kingdom of God LIFE. So instead of living and therefore preaching the good news of power/passion/joy/purpose infused life, all we have is a list of don't dos. And that is no good news at all."

Then I read this today on Pete Wilson's blog: "We have a culture-war spirituality that produces Christians who might never share their faith but are ready at a moment’s notice to debate politics, abortion and civil union for gay couples. It is a spirituality that calls down fire on its enemies and shapes its followers into intolerant soldiers waging a morality crusade. Its
kingdom is the eventual triumph of moral conservatism, and its spirituality is conflict and argument." - Michael Spencer

So at a time of an unprecedented flow of information and communication, we've been deceived into focusing on distracting half-truths in stead of life giving full truths. What would happen if:

We showed people a life so empowered by faith that they became desperate
to know how it's done.
We told kids/teenagers so much about the wonders and joys of marriage that they wouldn't settle for anything less?
And that the discussion included SEX ('cause it is, after all, part of the wonder and joy)!
And that the primary reason for the joy and wonder of marriage is the challenge of it being between a man and woman. "Of COURSE it's difficult, how else are you going to grow into a powerful and purpose-fulfilling man or woman without it?"
And btw, THAT'S the call of the gospel. To grow into a powerful and purpose-fulfilling man or woman. The forgiveness of sin is NOT the goal. Forgiveness of sin is the "must have" that God takes care of so you can ask him about the power and purpose.
And to add to that, what if we painted the proper, glory-filled picture of life that they got completely enamored with the whole idea that they actually started WORKING for it?

Of course the bigger question I'm uncovering is how do we first live like this? And I'm asking because that's where the deceptive distraction has the tightest hold. Not only do we communicate the half-truths, we live them.

And that's tragic.

The Desires of Your Heart

2010-01-26T17:14:00.000-06:00

I'm posting a link to this Untemplater video interview of Seth Godin on all my blogs today for two reasons. And since my first reason is the same for all three postings, it's at the bottom. My number 2 reason, specific to this blog appears first.

2.) This quote: "who can I change, what sort of example can I set. How can I build a platform for spreading ideas? ...to spread ideas and to make positive change." Inspiring stuff.

Despite all the bad news and very real struggles in the world today, I hope you'll grasp the core of the message of this video: there has never been a more opportunity filled time in the history of the world than today. There's never been a time so supportive of individuality and creativity. And Godliness.

"The glory of God is man fully alive" - St. Ireneaus

Now is the time to faithfully commit to explore the God breathed desires of your heart. To seek what it is God meant when he created YOU! And not just explore, but to then put hope, then faith, and then ACTION into and GO!

Because the unprecedented opportunities are not about you. They never are.

My wife and I attended a leadership conference this past weekend where we heard the following quote from Pastor John Guest: "This is a generation (all ages today) in DESPERATE need of inspirational leadership. A generation longing for authentic, passionate followers of Christ." Yes indeed.

We need you. Live fully alive!

1.) It's brilliant and I'm not exaggerating. If you are wondering what's going on the world today - financially, socially, etc., etc., - this interview covers most all of it thoroughly and insight-FULLY in ways you will not find anywhere else. Not only does Seth see the big pictures, but he puts them in dead-simple terms that will impact your life. At least I hope they will. Two quotes:
- "The future will not be like the past only shinier"
- The current economic template "was invented by people who owned factories"

I cannot oversell the importance of watching this video and paying attention to what's said.

Enjoy

Pure Light

2009-12-21T08:38:00.000-06:00

If I asked you to draw something black on a piece of paper with crayons, you would have to do one of two things: either use a black crayon or use all the other crayons at once. In order to make black, we have to use all the colors together. Likewise, the best way to make white is to draw, well, nothing because white is the absence of color. Yes, there's a white crayon, but the blank sheet of paper is best. Pure blank white paper.

But the universe is different. The deep black of space is not a combination of all colors. It is in fact, a complete void and white is just the opposite, it is the combination of all colors.

This is our struggle with purity, holiness and righteousness.

Just like our earthly perspective of crayons and paper, we believe the way to achieve holiness is to take stuff away. If we can just get down to the pure, white paper - void of all the bad stuff - we will be set. And so we set about to remove stuff from our life. Less eating, less cursing, less sinning, less, less, less... This works until we run out of stuff.

I'm not suggesting that any of us EVER get rid of the sin and crap in our lives, but in our day-to-day struggle to walk "upright" we all get to the realization that we don't know what else to do. So, we double up our efforts at rooting out the problems and begin eating ourselves from the inside. We question our motivations, desires, hopes, dreams, etc., until we're so twisted in knots that we're rendered useless to the world and no longer living.

But purity, holiness and righteousness are not blanks. They don't exist because of an absence of sin, strife and death, they exist in spite of these things. In fact, they exist in obliterating power, might, impact and blinding perfection.

Purity, holiness and righteousness are not lack. They are...everything. They are life.

If we are to ever grab hold of "I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10), we have got to grab hold of this reality. We have to stop seeing His will as one of seeking to dismantle our lives bit by bit until we are a blank sheet of paper. We must instead see Him as offering us abundant power and might that obliterates the junk and impacts the world.

Rules create loopholes — values do not

2009-11-18T20:52:00.000-06:00

I was fortunate to have the opportunity to hear John Eldredge speak in person several months back. My life has been deeply impacted by his writing and his words that night continued that work. There was one statement he made that I knew at the time set a trajectory for my life: "the sorrow of the earth is bad kings."

Those words brought focus to my many thoughts about men and women and their (my) struggle to fulfill their purpose. In particular, it brought out the desperate need of humanity for leaders. True, purposeful, solid and, as this post from Fast Company perfectly explains, value centered leaders.

"Rules create loopholes — values do not. If those in leadership roles want to shape behavior, they must pay more attention to instilling values. They are the underpinning of belief, and that's what inspires people and gives them a sense of mission and purpose. Only beliefs and the values that underpin them can be shared. Values perform a kind of double duty by acting as both a source and a mechanism for regulation." - Dov Seidman

I encourage you to read the whole post, but first let me define leader and king as I see it: you.

Despite the headlines, the world does not need a better Obama, European Union or solution in Afghanistan, what the world needs is you and I fulfilling our true callings as kings and queens (little k and q). Kings and queens who humbly lead, manage and steward their individual sphere of responsibility with skill, compassion, vision and integrity.

This will never happen as long as we believe the inherently evil and life-robbing notion that the destiny of the earth lies in the hands of wealthy, successful, important, recognized, powerful, highly esteemed, recognized or elected as big L and K, Leaders and Kings. And it won't happen if we believe the destiny is in the hands of Priests and Pastors.

Don't misunderstand me to say we don't need Leaders, Kings, Priests and Pastors. We do. Nothing works without a hierarchy. And don't misunderstand me to let all of them off the hook for the sorrows of the earth. There are many who's hands are guilty of much blood and sorrow. I'm not addressing those issues.

I'm addressing what I see as the biggest challenge in the world today: epidemic levels of worthlessness driven complacency. The world is FULL of people who have no idea what to do because they have no idea they matter.

See, there are two types of bad kings: evil ones and passive ones. The sorrow of the earth is passive kings (and queens - little k and q).

It's time to fully assume your throne.

Blog Action Day: Climate Change

2009-10-15T06:00:00.000-05:00

Today I am writing in tandem with thousands of bloggers around the world taking part in blogactionday, an annual event powered by Change.org. Despite the fact that I don't agree with everything they do, I can support their idea of unifying folks to speak about the great issues of our day. And besides, I like this years topic: Climate Change.

I like it because I of three strongly held beliefs on the subject:

1.) Gravity and causes: Yes we're seeing Climate Change around the world, however, I do not believe it to be a grave threat to the existence of our planet or its inhabitants. The scant historical comparison data we have shows that the earth has had seasons like this before. Which would suggest that it's unlikely that today's issues are caused by my two cars.

2.) God: The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it - Psalm 24:1. He built the place and will care for it until its usefulness is through. It's egotistical of us - of me - to think that I can change that.

However:

3.) Christ Followers: If we believe what Psalm 24 says, why aren't we the environmental leaders? Why aren't we proactively leading the movement to properly and care-FULLY steward His world?

Why aren't I?

Oh The Humanity

2009-10-01T17:48:00.001-05:00

I have a friend in Atlanta that I was blessed to meet for lunch during a recent business trip. During our conversation, John Eldredge's name came up and he mentioned a friend of his that’s working with John on a project. He went on to say she disagrees with his ministry because it is focused too much on man and not enough on God.

But isn't God's ministry focused on man?

Now, before you shout me down, let me assure you I am not lessoning the holiness of God, His desire for our worship or His hatred of our sin. Nor am I suggesting that God exists to serve us. As His creation, we are less. Because of our sin, He alone is holy. And because of all that and more, He is rightfully jealous to have us serve Him.

But what about our humanity? It’s a crucial question that I believe we’ve answered wrong. And it’s killing us.

Oh the Humanity

In an attempt to ensure that we never forget the holiness, might and sovereignty of God, we’ve accepted a lie. A lie that says if it wasn’t for us, God would be happy. The lie that we – collectively and personally – are a burden to God. We believe God made a huge mistake when He created humans and suspect He wishes we weren’t around. At the very least, we’re reasonable certain He wishes we were less…well, human.

And so we imagine a regretful and disappointed God sitting with His head in His hands thinking: “Oh the humanity! If only they didn’t need friendship, companionship and worth all would be well. If they could stop needing meaning, purpose, food, shelter, money and sex things would be perfect. And what’s with their different personalities, tastes, interests and desires? Sheesh.”

The Living Dead

And so we live lives bent on destroying or denying our humanity and the result is lives that are all too often, half lived - or perhaps lived in two halves.

The first half, based on a misinterpretation of the scripture about contentment, is a self-centered deprivation. We accept jobs, friendships, marriages, organizations, ideas and…lives that we really don’t like because we believe it wrong to long for more. So despite dreams, visions, imaginings and Scriptures that overflow with hope, joy, peace and…LIFE…we sit. Content.

The second half, based on fear of who knows what, is outward focused criticism. We see this when the reaction to someone else’s dream, vision, imagining or revelatory Scripture is “be careful…!”. Like when a musician says they feel led to play secular music and everyone screams “but what about the drugs and sex!” Thing is, we all do this. You need only read comments on Facebook, blogs, twitter or hear people in hallways – our natural bent is to criticize and put down those that want to live. And we seem to always do it with a tone of “its sad you still struggle with that part of your humanity.”

Oh, the humanity!

But why? Where is it written that we should hate the things that make us human? The drives, ambitions, desires, needs and wants? Resist the urge to criticize and correct me – I know we need His redemptive work in us – but think about my question. Where in the bible does God hate us for our humanity? Isn’t it the opposite? Isn’t it our humanity that he wants saved? Redeemed? Healed?

He doesn’t hate hunger, he hates gluttony. He doesn’t hate wealth, he hates desception, robbery, hoarding and lording it over others. He doesn’t hate sex, he hates its misuse and abuse. He doesn’t hate big dreams, he hates selfish gain. And on and on.

So imagine God saying “Oh, the humanity. I love them, they are created in my image. Created to live with Me in relationship so we can make something of the world I have given them. Created to work the ground, solve the problems, invent great things and love each other. Created to succeed at being the very things I made them to be – individual creations displaying My glory in infinitely unique ways!”

What would happen? What would you tell others? What would you tell yourself? And what would you be free to do?

Checking Homework

2009-09-22T15:43:00.000-05:00

Had to pass this along as a reminder to always check your kid's homework before they hand it in to the teacher:

(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Smith

Switchfoot "Mess Of Me"

2009-09-12T10:23:00.000-05:00

Watch this video of Switchfoot once again proving they are the most significant and important band of our time. I URGE you to follow these guys - they have the most life focused, encouraging music made today.

Here's the chorus of their soon to be released song, Mess Of Me:

"I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!"

'Mess Of Me' - Switchfoot (new single from new album "Hello Hurricane" - out November 10, 2009)

More About Covenant College

2009-08-24T20:02:00.000-05:00

if you'd like more insight into our choice for our son's college education, read this post from Covenant's President, Dr. Neil Neilson. Be blessed:

Dr. Niel Nielson » Blog Archive » Welcoming New Students into the Covenant Community

Covenant College Orientation

2009-08-23T21:57:00.001-05:00

This past Friday night and Saturday morning, my wife and I took our son to Covenant College, in Lookout Mountain, GA. He is beginning his Freshman year this next Thursday.

We are blessed and I am awestruck.

Awestruck because of a group of 10 or 15 eager upperclassman that unloaded our van and delivered Kayce's stuff to his room while he signed into the residence hall.

Awestruck by the beauty of what can only be called a magnificent campus on a beautiful late summer day - and we've been there several times. It's breathtaking every time.

Awestruck by a first orientation meeting that had 40 minutes of information and 20 minutes of open prayer led by the parents. Prayers for the protection of our kids, the peace of the parents, the clarity and focus of the teachers, and in everything, the lifting up of Christ.

Awestruck by the Friday night lecture of our son's first course given by the President of the College, Dr. Neil Neilson and his wife, Kathleen. They spoke of Big C and little c callings. Of the Big C calling to believe, trust and obey. And the little c callings of life - jobs, friends, relationships, hobbies, etc., etc. It's the little c callings that trip us, challenge us and reveal us. They are the things - thousands of them per day - that add up to a glorifying and powerful life. And Dr. Neilson called the the students to a such a life. One that while they are at Covenant, should be first and foremost about being a student.

And then there was the perfect weather of Saturday on the mountain and another orientation meeting. First up after worship? The Mayor of Lookout Mountain. Praying. Yup. Turns out his daughter attended the school and he is deeply interested in the new students and the success of the school. Following his talk, we heard much about the rules and regulations. Then, a panel of professors answered questions about how to succeed at the school. Two points stood out to me:
- It's not about grades. Yes, the professors said that. They stressed that focusing on grades will cause a person to miss the opportunity to LEARN.
- The enemy would like nothing more than to have every student fail and the surefire way to fail is to get straight As.

Everything they said was about life. Wow.

And lastly, awestruck by still more prayer and a son that was as confident as us that he is exactly where he's supposed to be.

Awestruck and blessed.
Definitely blessed.

Our Proposed Health Care Plan

2009-07-27T09:52:00.001-05:00

I purposely avoid political topics on this blog because I find that people are often blinded by the terms Liberal and Conservative or Republican and Democrat and therefore unable to simply discuss issues. I've also found that I'm a strange mix of all of the above because my Lord is too and the Bible seems to be somewhere in the middle too. I don't see our problems as right or left but a result of the fact that we have no moral compass. The government wouldn't have to solve problems if people - especially those that can - would take care of those who can't.

I am concerned about the Health Care Plan currently proposed for our country though. Concerned that it is a knee jerk - a LONG overdue knee jerk - reaction to a non-critical problem. Don't get me wrong, we have health care problems and a disproportionate percentage of people do not get the care they deserve. But we also have an incorrect view that health insurance is a right just like home ownership. Neither is a right, nor are they the only solution. People can get health care without insurance - it happens ALL THE TIME! Yes some do, but most hospitals do not turn away sick/broken people. Likewise, people can have many forms of shelter that does not involve home ownership.

I could go on and on but won't right now. Instead, I encourage you to read this post and see if you believe this is a good proposal. Here are two or 50 points from the article.

Pg 30, Sec 123 states that there will be a government committee that decides what treatments you are allowed and what your overall benefits are.
PG 429, lines 10-12 give an Advance Care Planning Consultant the power to order end of life plans for a patient.

I thought this bill was supposed to prevent the disproportionate use and availability of health care. These two items clearly contradict this idea. The government will decide who gets what and when and they will decide when a person is no longer worth the expense of life. And btw, don't tell me that's not what this means.

One last thought: I hate the title of this post because I am not against Obama. I didn't vote for him, but I do believe him to be an intelligent man that wants what's best for our country. I also don't believe this is his plan, it is the result of many, many people's thoughts, concepts and ideas. On that note though, it unquestionably represents a society that believes government to be the solution to any and all problems (and the Rebulicans are guilty of this too). And that with limited resources available to government, the solutions must also rate the value of people.

Like I said, it's a moral issue.

Faith and the Art of Motorcycle Riding

2009-07-25T17:52:00.001-05:00

My son and I took a beginners' motorcycle riding class last weekend. My wife - yes, really - suggested he sell his car during the first few years of college and get a bike to ride when he's home. I, in turn, suggested the riding class and volunteered to attend with him to make sure he was taught correctly.

Okay, I admit it, I've always wanted a bike and will get my own as soon as I can (I'll also get to use his while he's gone too). I know, life's tough.

Anyway, among the many things I learned in the course (and let me know if you'd like info, I highly recommend it) were three key takeaways:

1. The bike will go wherever your head turns.
2. The bike performs best under power.
3. Everyone's out to kill you, or something along those lines.

Just like life.

During the training we were given opportunities to manuever the bikes through different degrees of turns - both sharp and more rolling. I struggled with these seemingly simple tasks until the instructor told me to stop looking at the cones on the ground and turn my head towards where I wanted to go. I thought he was crazy when he said to simply look at the end of the turn and give it the gas. Then I did it and the affect was exhilerating. Not only did it go where I wanted it, but the bike was remarkably stable despite increasing speed.

My life goes wherever my head turns too. I can talk about not having enough time, wanting to do this or that, my heart's desire to finally wrestle crippling sins to the ground or follow my life's passions, but the fundamental truth is that where my head goes, so goes my life. And this explains why my life is often wobbly too.

Then there was the lesson about power. I had thought that power applied to the wheels would upset the balance of the bike and that lessoning the power or applying the brakes would bring it back under control. In fact, the complete opposite was true. As the instructor said, the bike is designed to move. Upright.

So am I.

I'm not designed to fear, hesitate, over think and plan. I'm designed to move under power. And just like I controlled the bike, I move best when I'm controlled too. And the only control that works is my God. Daily.

Which brings me to the last point. The instructor never told us to be aware that people would be out to kill us on a motorcycle. He didn't feel he had too. In fact, it wasn't about what he said at all. Rather, it was about the tone of what he said - a matter of fact, "you know it's true, don't you?" I sensed he believed it to be such a truth that it didn't warrant discussion.

I share his perspective. I mean, you do know that your joy, peace, wonder and life is opposed, don't you?
Don't you?

A Wife's Concerns

2009-07-13T15:02:00.000-05:00

I found this list on my phone today as I cleaned it out for a swap. Thought I'd share someone's perspective on the items of concern for a wife:

Affection
Conversation
Honesty and openness
Financial security
Family commitment

Beyond saying "yes and amen", I have two thoughts: financial security does not mean riches, it means bringing #'s 1, 2, 3, and 5 into your finances and I'd add a sixth: Be a man who leads from strength.

He Longs for Justice

2009-06-12T12:11:00.000-05:00

Read this quick post by Jason Curlee please. The second to last line?

"I want justice—oceans of it."

As John Eldredge said in a talk I heard recently: "the sorrow of the earth is bad kings."
We need justice.

Unspeakably Sad

2009-06-09T20:33:00.000-05:00

I LOVE this quote:

“The danger is that you will lead a respectable, decent, nonscandalous
life. But it will be busy, tired, human-powered life. That is
unspeakably sad.”
- John Ortberg

I found it on Travis Robertson's blog. Follow him on twitter at twitter.com/TRONash

Marriage Necessities 3

2009-05-07T20:45:00.000-05:00

After discussing Faith in God and Commitment to Marriage in my post Marriage Necessities 1 & 2, I bring you number 3:

3 Commitment to each other

Faith in God and/or commitment to marriage can sustain a marriage. Either of them will do if your goal is to simply stay married.

But neither of these encourage engagement. They don't require anything of the individuals involved except adherence to rules. And a marriage between to disengaged rule followers can never be healthy, happy, passionate and fruitful.

A healthy marriage requires commitment to each other. It's not enough to commit to marriage, you have to commit to the PERSON you're married too. And this is where most marriages fail because it's hard.

It's hard to set aside our ambitions, desires and needs for another person. Never mind the fact that we rarely ever end up truly giving them up, but it does require that level of selflessness. You have to be committed to the other person and their ambitions, desires and needs.

And that is the magic of marriage. When you get beyond the "I'm married because I believe it's important to God" and the "I'll stay married because it's the right thing to do" you run headlong into the "I have to live with this person. Everyday. Forever."

And the only way to make that work is to grow inside. Open up. Let it out. Risk rejection. Ask questions. Listen. Answer questions truthfully. Do it all again. And again. This time more, deeper and more real.

Keep going.

And in the process you change. You become relational. Engaged. More whole. And you are better for it. And so is your spouse.

And so is our world.

--to be continued --

Unforced Rhythms

2009-04-29T12:48:00.000-05:00

Sent from a friend:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
- Mathew 11:28-30 (Message Bible)

Broken

2009-04-28T21:07:00.001-05:00

I am broken.

I hope.

I hope I have finally come to the end of my rope. My hope. My way. My thinking. My strength. My trying.

I hope I have ‘cause it’s not working. The “I’ll figure it out, I’ll get better, I can stop if I have to, I can’t live without this, I don’t need any help, I’m okay this way, I’m generally good, maybe tomorrow” life isn’t working.

Thank God.

Thank God I’ve seen there’s more. And thank God I’ve realized I can’t get there on my own. I can’t figure it out, get better, stop, live without, be okay, good or last another day on my own.

I need three things in order of importance:

3 - I need the reality of what God sees in me and in the world. I need His perspective.
2 – I need people around me who see both of those too and point them out to me all the time.

I have both of those, but neither of them works without this:

1 – Scriptural humility.

I need a self-image consistent with the truth that I am a redeemed, mercy and grace empowered man in relationship with my Father in Heaven. Without that His perspective is nothing more than knowledge and the encouragement of friends is nothing more than empty words.

I don’t need knowledge and words, not by themselves. I need a faith-filled heart for them to root in. A heart that is first broken.

Thank God

technorati claim

2009-04-21T21:18:00.002-05:00

I'm posting this so I can have this blog listed on technorati. If you're not technorati, you can ignore this one...

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Marriage Necessities 1 & 2

2009-04-21T21:04:00.003-05:00

I recently found a blog I recommend called Simple Marriage. A few weeks ago they conducted a simple poll on the “necessities of marriage." Participants were asked to list the five or six most important things for a successful marriage. It got me thinking. And when I think, I write.

So here we go:

1 - Faith in God

I don’t know how people who don’t believe in God stay married.

No really, I don’t.

Which brings me immediately to my next necessity:

2 - Commitment to marriage

You have to be committed to something larger than yourself and larger than each other. Marriage is such a thing.

Marriage is the bedrock foundation of not only all of society, but most of the Word of God. From the early verses of Genesis to the end of the book, God’s heart for marriage is certain: it matters. Greatly. The fact that The Church (capitalized) is referred to as His bride clearly illustrates the importance of the covenant of marriage.

And covenant is key. Marriage is first and foremost a covenant. It’s a promise. And it can’t survive without it.

I don’t care how beautiful, handsome, talented, wonderful and/or PERFECT your spouse is, there will come a day when, well, you won’t like them. On top of that, there will always – and I mean always – be someone MORE beautiful, handsome, talented and/or PERFECT. And I promise you will meet them.

Often.

Everywhere.

Of course they won’t really be all those things, but it’ll feel like it when you meet them. And did I mention you will meet them? I promise you will.

My marriage could have ended multiple times were it not for our commitment to the covenant itself. But understand this, I am NOT saying that we have toughed it out because we don’t believe in divorce. I’m saying that we’ve always found the tools, assistance and support we’ve needed to make it work because we don’t believe in divorce. Out belief in marriage has always provided the motivation to figure out how to make it work. We’ve always figured it out and we always will.

One last thing on commitment to marriage: the absence of the word “your”. I’m not saying commitment to YOUR marriage, I’m saying commitment to marriage. Period.

This isn’t to say that the other person doesn’t matter, of course, but I'll cover that in Marriage Necessities 3.

Faith and Government

2009-04-19T08:59:00.002-05:00

In my last two posts, I explored ideas about fear and faith. I used a quote about government as a starting point and it brought an interesting response from a friend. You can read his thoughts in the comments of the fear post.

I need to clarify that I didn't write the quote about government. It was made by Charles Murray in a speech delivered to the American Enterprise Institutes Annual Dinner this past March. It can be found here. I do agree with it however, and for exactly the reasons my friend stated. Christians should not be fearing the things they want government to solve OR government itself. They should be asking "Lord, what is it you want ME to do to be a part of your solution to these messes?" To your point, we should be the "we the people."

Second, I didn't blame the government. I wasn't writing about government. I happened to chose a quote about government but only as a starting point to discuss fear. In my opinion, what pushes us from a healthy, effective government to an overblown, overextended and obtrusive government is fear. Fearing a thief gets us the police. Fearing businessmen gets us laws that run businesses into the ground because of unsustainable demands on their money. I'm NOT saying business is a savior. Greed destroys. BUT, greedy businesses usually self destruct. Our fear of greed, and a lack of faith in positive outcomes causes legal intervention that has unintended consequences. Again, just an example of fear run amok.

Now, having said that, here ARE my thoughts on government: I can only speak for myself and say I am upset with big government. I don't want the government solving my problems anymore than I want them solving other peoples. There was a time when the town drunk was taken in, comforted and assisted by townspeople. In a great number of cases, that person got well because in some part, they felt the shame of behaving badly within their community. You might say peer pressure kept them in line.

Somewhere along the line, government stepped in to "help" these drunks. The townspeople stopped reaching out because the government asked them to stop or, more tragically, they didn't have to anymore. Either way though, the result was a disconnect in the community and many more lifelong drunks. Take away personal responsibility and interaction and success rates plummet.

Government cannot effectively solve housing, saving, retirement, healthcare or poverty for exactly these reasons. It's my responsibility to see that the folks I know make their way through life without being homeless and broke. And though that may mean giving them a bedroom or money, it more often means living in relationship and community - encouragement, suggestions, introductions to others. All with a faith that God will work it out and we'll all be okay.

Fear gets us a "somebody needs to fix this" mentality, government and life. And that is no life. Faith gets us a "I don't know how it'll work, but I feel called to do this" life. Adventurous and scary and not always successful (at least in our eyes), but alive.

Faith based living

2009-04-18T11:46:00.005-05:00

From the end of my last post:

"The problem is this: Every time the government takes some of the trouble out of performing the functions of family, community, vocation, and faith, it also strips those institutions of some of their vitality--it drains some of the life from them."

I don't know that I've read a better description of what we've done to life. Or more sad.

It's a perfect description of what I see in far too many people. More precisely, what I don't see: life. It all makes sense of course. I mean, how can you know if you're living a "life well lived" if there's no challange to living? And how can we live if all we do is fear?

We can't."

We were not created to live in fear. We do not have the mental and physical capacities to fear for any length of time. Want to know what the true #1 killer of people is? Stress. Estimates place stress as the key or contributing cause of most illness at well over 60%. We're just not made for fear.

But we're not made for safety either. God didn't tell Adam and Eve to be careful. Quite the opposite, he told them to subdue the earth. Have you SEEN the earth? It's anything but safe. Not to mention the fact that the battle in Heaven, the one that led to the deception of Adam and Eve and everything that's followed, happened before they were created. God created mankind in the midst of war.

And made us warriors.

Do warriors fear? Absolutely. Fear is what keeps them alive. It's what keeps them alert to their surroundings and vigilant in physical and mental preparation. It's what motivates them to plan and strategize and in the end, act.

Take away fear and bad things happen to warriors. They become apathetic, satiated, sedentary and lazy. They also become unimaginative and bored. The only good thing that happens is they don't die. At least not physically.

Notice I said "take away fear." This is our most common reaction to fear. We want it removed, compartmentalized, managed and taken care of by someone else. The flaw in this thinking is that it's focused on the fear itself. And this focus on fear only compounds the problem and we become fear-FULL.

But we're called to be faithful warriors.

We serve the God of the Universe. The Creator, Lord and Victor. We have nothing to fear that he can't overcome.

With our help.

Yes, we - you and I - are involved in this thing called life. We have a place in the story - as faith-FULL warriors. We must have not only faith in God, but faith in our selves as the warrior partners. We have a part to play, not in the removal, compartmentalization, management or delegation of fear, but in the fighting and defeating of the roots of those fears.

This is our calling and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Fear based living

2009-04-05T19:20:00.002-05:00

A friend of my recently posted a note entitled "Fear" on Facebook. In it, he rightly pointed out our improper obsession with fear. It's a topic I consider often as I see myself alternate between moments of great faith and moments of great fear.

Of course I want to live by faith and I'll continue to grow in that direction. I know what faith looks like and I know how to live it too, but that doesn't make it easy.

But then again, is it supposed to be?

And then I came across the text of a speech by Charles Murray that can rightly be called brilliant. Delivered to the American Enterprise Institutes Annual Dinner on March 2009, the speech builds a case for "American exceptionalism, in which individuals freely unite to construct a civic culture."

Read it here, it's well worth the time. But my purpose here is not pro-Americanism, it's pro-faith-FULL living.

Mr. Murray's assertion is built upon the dual premise of "a life well-lived" and "deep satisfaction."

"To become a source of deep satisfaction, a human activity has to meet some stringent requirements. It has to have been important (we don't get deep satisfaction from trivial things). You have to have put a lot of effort into it (hence the cliché "nothing worth having comes easily"). And you have to have been responsible for the consequences.

There aren't many activities in life that can satisfy those three requirements. Having been a good parent. That qualifies. A good marriage. That qualifies. Having been a good neighbor and good friend to those whose lives intersected with yours. That qualifies. And having been really good at something--good at something that drew the most from your abilities. That qualifies. Let me put it formally: If we ask what are the institutions through which human beings achieve deep satisfactions in life, the answer is that there are just four: family, community, vocation, and faith. Two clarifications: "Community" can embrace people who are scattered geographically. "Vocation" can include avocations or causes."

I don't know that I've read a better description of life. Or more exciting.

Continuing:

"Put aside all the sophisticated ways of conceptualizing governmental functions and think of it in this simplistic way: Almost anything that government does in social policy can be characterized as taking some of the trouble out of things. Sometimes, taking the trouble out of things is a good idea. Having an effective police force takes some of the trouble out of walking home safely at night, and I'm glad it does.

The problem is this: Every time the government takes some of the trouble out of performing the functions of family, community, vocation, and faith, it also strips those institutions of some of their vitality--it drains some of the life from them."

I don't know that I've read a better description of what we've done to life. Or more sad.

It's a perfect description of what I see in far too many people. More precisely, what I don't see: life.

It all makes sense of course. I mean, how can you know if you're living a "life well lived" if there's no challange to living? And how can we live if all we do is fear?

We can't.

...to be continued...

My three blogs

2009-04-05T09:57:00.000-05:00

Two months ago I made a change in my online strategy. I decided to re-split one of my blogs into two and start a third. I made an announcement at the time but want to be sure to point it out again. There's no reason to write if I don't have readers, and no way to gain readers without an invitation. So, consider this my invitation and a bit of shameless self-promotion too.

Here's a link to the original announcement where I give insights into the content of each blog. You can also read about them at my online hub on netvibes at http://netvibes.com/stevegrossman. In addition to quick
descriptions and links, you'll also find an extensive bio and my friendfeed page which tracks everything I do online.

What I didn't mention was that I have a fourth blog at work too. If you're an employee of Manheim, take a sec to check out All Things Inspections through Mainstreet.

So I invite you to check out my blogs and be encouraged. And drop me a line if you'd like me to discuss anything specific.
Thanks for reading.

Worm Theology

2009-04-01T20:06:00.003-05:00

My friend Randy is a giant of a man. A compassionate and passionate wordsmith of a Pastor in the next town over, Randy and I had a conversation about worms long ago. Specifically what he called "worm theology."

Worm Theology says that we're so inferior and unworthy to the mighty, creator God of the universe that we are nothing more than dust. Sadly, I've found this to be a theology embraced by many Godly people who never move beyond paralyzing shame, fear, doubt and insecurities because they don't believe they should. They actually believe they are honoring God by viewing themselves as wholly inadequate and unworthy.

And it's a lie.

The Bible does not support Worm Theology. The message is consistent that we were created in the image of a God not a worm. A God that created us for fellowship, love and life. Created us to be his children and heirs to the kingdom. Children that he gave his Son for. We are princes and princesses, not worms.

Unless we want to be.

Just because we are princes and princesses does not prevent us from crawling about like worms. It does not prevent us from spending our days, weeks, months and years struggling to breathe, eat and live while crawling through dirt, dust and grime. Dirt, dust and grime that we were created to walk over not crawl through.

All too frequently I find myself living as a worm. I want to believe, but do not. I want to triumph, yet hesitate. I want to write, encourage, create, taste, experience, build, kiss, laugh. I want to live.

And yet I crawl.

But not all the time.

I'm a Coward

2009-03-14T07:53:00.002-05:00

It's not my intention to cut myself down with this post. I'm a big believer in the power of words so I'm cognizant of the dangers of writing like this. But I also have to be honest. Honest with myself and honest with you. This has been on my mind recently and I believe it to be worth exploring here.

And honestly, I'm a coward. Whether at work, at home or with the Lord Himself, I am likely to cut and run, or at the very least avoid. I talk a big talk, say all the right things and say them in the right way, but in far too many instances, I am a coward.

I'm a coward at work in the fact that I'm far more comfortable in a world of e-mail and websites. Don't get me wrong, those are important and they are the wave of the future, but I sometimes use them instead of interacting with people. When the phone rings, my first thought is "shoot, what if I don't have the answer?" It's frightening to think I might not be in control and if they'd e-mail me instead I'd be better prepared.

Then there's my friends. Well, acquaintances is more appropriate 'cause I don't really have any close friends. I'm not 100% sure why, but I know some of it is me. Yeah I'm busy, and so are all of them (I hate to bother people), but still, something's just not right. Why don't I engage more?

Cowardice.

Which brings me to my family and where it gets tricky. See, with them I'm a coward twice. First, I just don't dive into everything like I should. Oh we all get along fine and all; beautifully actually. But, there's not enough time together, not enough connecting, not enough simply hanging, loving and laughing.

And here's the second part: I've tried to change these things and have all but given up. Experience has taught me - not just at home - that I don't matter. The failed attempts to change the status quo confirm that it's no longer worth the risk. It's just easier and more comfortable to "be okay with it."

Cowardice.

What I know though, is that this is important. It's a pattern. A pattern of found in general in men, but also specifically in me. The pattern in men is most tragically illustrated at the tree in the garden. You know, when the man kept silent while his wife changed the entire course of human history? Yeah, that's me.

But there's also been an attack. An attack since childhood to convince me that I don't matter. Through a long period where my mom dealt with illness, I learned to "be okay." The family was dealing with far too much for there to be room for much else, so I lived my life dutifully and happily.

And disconnected.

I learned that there wasn't room for what I wanted, needed or desired. I never starved or anything, that's not what I'm saying, I'm talking about the heart. And so I drifted into adulthood with a crippling ability to exist and exist well.

Thankfully God messed that up and taught me that we're meant for far more than existence. But true life doesn't come without a fight and cowards don't fight well. Take if from me.

But then again, I am fighting. Sometimes on the outside, but definitely on the inside. I'm fighting with perceptions, filters and misconceptions that if left unchecked will continue to allow me to hide. And I don't want to hide.

"The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and violent men take it by force." (Matt: 11:12)

I will fight. Passionately from strength and faith. I will fight to move from survival to life. Conversation to engagement. Love to passion. Cowardice to courage.

I will live full alive.

Thankful

2009-03-13T18:12:00.001-05:00

We are all born with abilities. Some can sing, some can talk, some can build and some can think. We have the ability to improve these abilities too and/or discover those that we did not even know we have. Amazing.

These abilities are magnified however, when combined with one more: the ability to respond. Songs, words, buildings and business strategies are meaningless unless they are sung, spoken and created in response to needs. A broken heart is encouraged by a song. Ignorance is replaced through a knowledgeable word. A family gets a home through hard labor and a successful business provides jobs and supports a community.

This is responsibility and we all have it.

We all have the ability to respond to the world around us. To be moved to take action because of a need, opportunity, challenge, idea or plan. To do anything less is tragic.

It is tragic when no one responds to needs. People stay lonely, go hungry and remain homeless and jobless. Just exactly who is supposed to change these things if not the very people with the abilities to change them? The world does not need geniuses. It does not need “them”. It needs you - a unique combination of interests, ideas, abilities and spheres of influence. No one else has the solutions you have because no else has your exact combination.

And not responding is tragic for you too. Teddy Roosevelt can tell you why:

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause;

who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”

Taking responsibility is HARD, it’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to take everything you’ve got because it will change everything you are. Will you be good at it? No, but you’ll get better. Will all your ideas be great and accepted? No, but you’ll think of better ones. Will everyone be thankful for your help? Probably not. So? Keep singing, speaking, building, thinking or whatever it is you were meant to do.

Be thankful for all your abilities. And be thankful for the things to which you can respond. If you have responded and have seen the fruits - to others and yourself - give thanks. If you have not yet responded, commit to change.

Commit to live.

2 Links

2009-03-09T18:29:00.001-05:00

I have a suggested reading list. Not just a list of blogs that I read regularly, but the ones that regularly reveal me. The ones that take me apart and challenge me to put myself back together in a new way.

The ones that God uses to grow me up.

Jonalyn Grace Fincher is one such writer, and here's an example:
Jonalyn Grace Fincher: Lynching Today

On a completely different tangent, is The Art of Manliness Blog which never ceases to remind me how far I am from being the man I am called to me. How? By publishing posts like this.

Production and consumption are the real economy

2009-03-09T17:21:00.000-05:00

A must see brilliant explanation of economics, economic solutions and how a pinch of Old Testament might just do the trick:

YouTube - Six Minutes with the Renegade Economist - Michael Hudson Special...

Lifestyle

2009-03-06T06:15:00.000-06:00

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and then walk out the door and deny HIM by their lifestyle... that is what our unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable" - DC Talk

Whatchya think? True?

We must get back to our founding document

2009-03-04T20:35:00.000-06:00

I do not put my faith in the United States or her government. However, I am immensely proud of the nation designed and built by our founding fathers and completely sold out on the genius of our Constitution and the principles and ideals that it protects.

So I am deeply concerned about the current wave of attacks against these foundations and I hope that you are too. Please understand, however, that I am not blaming our new President for these attacks - this is not an anti-Obama post. He is simply the man of the hour in a nation that has allowed itself to drift too far. A nation that has not invested enough energy into teaching the importance of our history and foundations.

So instead of a people familiar with our documents of law, the people who wrote them and the reasons they did, we are a people of ignorance. A people unable to discern facts from fiction and law from ideas. This is most often illustrated by quoting of the Constitutional separation of church and state - a term that does not appear anywhere in the document. To be fair, it does appear in a Constitution, just not ours.

Which is perhaps the biggest tragedy of our ignorance: that we do not understand - or cherish - the difference between our nation and others. And by that I do not mean that we're better, but we are...well, us. The United States of America. A nation that has a constitution, rules of law and a government. Why are we trying so hard to be another country? I thought this was a time of unprecedented celebration and acceptance of diversity. What's up?

Luckily, there are folks that are offering suggestions as to what we can do. One such person is Nancy Salvato, the wife of an old college buddy (a screaming lead trumpet player. Check out her comprehensive and thought filled article on educating our public here:

"The New Media Journal | An Alternative to Impending Doom by Nancy Salvato

Here's a quote to wet your appetite:

"There are a number of actions that must occur if we are to influence those who voted representatives into public office with whose actions we disagree. We must begin with the basics. The American people need further education in the rationale behind each word of our Constitution. Our citizens need to learn about the failures of socialism and other forms of government. To appreciate the freedoms protected by the US Constitution, one needs to understand what sovereignty means to the longevity, power and wealth of our nation. Finally, those who do not engage politically need to become convinced that by disengaging they are empowering people whose actions are not necessarily in this country’s best interests."

Why has the market plunged?

2009-03-03T18:00:00.000-06:00

The WSJ offers the following statement about the current market and economic indicators. These are powerful words.

Our Troubled Economy Is a Response to Barack Obama's Policies - WSJ.com

"The market has notably plunged since Mr. Obama introduced his budget last week, and that should be no surprise. The document was a declaration of hostility toward capitalists across the economy. Health-care stocks have dived on fears of new government mandates and price controls. Private lenders to students have been told they're no longer wanted. Anyone who uses carbon energy has been warned to expect a huge tax increase from cap and trade. And every risk-taker and investor now knows that another tax increase will slam the economy in 2011, unless Mr. Obama lets Speaker Nancy Pelosi impose one even earlier."

Understanding Purpose at 12

2009-03-02T16:47:00.000-06:00

My thanks to Mark for passing along The Cyberservant: Since I have my life before me...

Here's a portion of what Brooke Bronkowski wrote at the age of 12:

"I'll live my life to the fullest. I'll be happy. I'll brighten up. I will be more joyful than I have ever been. I will be kind to others. I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who I really am. I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles."

Read the post for the rest of the story. It's worth it.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it

2009-02-27T16:40:00.000-06:00

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy
out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another
person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to
anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody
else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to
work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the
other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody
else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about
the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

~~ The late Dr. Adrian Rogers

Once upon a time

2009-02-27T15:16:00.000-06:00

In a beautifully written post, Mark Batterson makes you stop and ponder the realities of a life lived with God.

"It's hard to put into words, but I live my life with a profound sense of destiny. God orders my footsteps. If I believe anything, I believe that. And that fills me with holy anticipation. At any given moment, God can invade the reality of our lives and change everything."

Read it all here:

Evotional.com - Originality, Authenticity, Creativity

Even AP said it

2009-02-26T20:11:00.001-06:00

What does it mean when the Associated Press has the following quote in it's story about the Obama budget proposal?

"Denouncing what he called the "dishonest accounting" of recent federal budgets, Obama unveiled his own $3.6 trillion blueprint for next year, a bold proposal that would transfer wealth from rich taxpayers to the middle class and the poor."

Even AP says he's transferring wealth. Wow.

And I'm interested to see the proof of "dishonest accounting."

Make an inventory and clean up your home

2009-02-25T14:29:00.001-06:00

Timely suggestion for me and it just might be for you too!

Apartment Therapy Chicago | How To: Make an Inventory of Your Home ... And Use It to Declutter

Pre-World War III, or IV or V?

2009-02-24T19:55:00.001-06:00

In this chilling comparison between today's world and that of the run up to World War II, Bret Stephens Says We Can't Allow Barack Obama's Optimism to Lull Us into a Weakened Foreign Policy - WSJ.com.

"As in the 1920s, we have emerged (if only partially), from several years of war -- scarcely anticipated, earnestly begun, bravely fought, often badly waged and, at least in the case of Iraq, ambiguously won. It was an emotionally exhausting war justified first on grounds of national survival, then for spreading democracy. The moral clarity and political unity that went with the war's beginning collapsed into political division and disillusion.

"From this there has emerged under the Obama administration a new kind of moral clarity. It is founded on conciliatory tendencies, a preference for multilateral solutions, a powerful desire to be on the right side of global public opinion, and an instinct for looking away from that which we'd rather not to see. This has put some political stress on our residual post-9/11 commitments, particularly in the case of Afghanistan, while creating an overwhelming aversion to possible confrontations, particularly against revanchist Russia and millenarian Iran."

I hope he's wrong.

My heart on the matter

2009-02-24T19:21:00.000-06:00

My thanks to Dr. Neil Nielson, President of Covenant College for this brilliant post on Business for God's Glory.

I am sharing it here because he has captured my heart's deepest passion far better than I can express. It's a long piece, but well worth every word.

Here are my highlights:

"My burden this morning is simply (1) to remind you that business is also a holy and godly calling, fraught with dangers and temptations and slippery slopes like every other calling; and then (2) to encourage those of you who sense God’s call into business to relish that call and pursue it wholeheartedly."

"...I have been convinced beyond any doubt that it’s a worthy and noble calling, and that Christians belong in business. And I’d like you to think so too."

And my absolute FAVORITE:
"This gain in wealth, and the resulting improvement in quality of life, is one important reason why I get so excited about an increasingly globalized marketplace, with information and access getting into places and corners of the globe where they’ve never gotten before."

Exactly. We are living in the most exciting economic, business and technological time in over 400 year!

Read the whole post.
And be excited.

Moving Beyond the Fake Stimulus

2009-02-24T17:42:00.000-06:00

Great stuff teaching what's going on:

Understand This Or Perish ... | Brazen Careerist

Government Service?

2009-02-24T16:57:00.000-06:00

This isn't the right time in my life, but this post sparked something in that's been brewing for a while: the thought of getting involved in government.

This Is Smyrna, TN: March 3rd deadline

Hmmmm...

Mashable gives us 60+ How To sites

2009-02-19T13:41:00.000-06:00

Check out this comprehensive list of the best help sites on the web.

Nice!

Links Feb. 13 (and comments)

2009-02-13T18:17:00.000-06:00

Yahoo News tells us Why This Recession Seems Worse Than '70s and '80s

It's not of course, as this opening sentence suggests: "If you think this recession is the worst since World War II, chances are you weren't born or working during the downturns of the 1970s and '80s, you're listening to President Obama too much or you're a white-collar worker in financial services." And then there's "The economy is very psychological. There's a herd instinct."

My take? We're feeling the economical affects of the transition from the industrial to information ages. For those that get on board, things will be fine. Ignore this at your peril.

In Exactly How Does Stimulus Work? from the Wall Street Journal, Daniel Henninger tells us that "The theory beneath the $800 billion of spending is called the Keynesian multiplier, first posited around 1931." Um. Yeah.

There's also this quote from CBO director Douglas Elmendorf: ""Even without any stimulus, market forces would eventually bring about a recovery from the recession," albeit with more unemployment and loss of output."

Finally, as an example of my point about the information age comes Digital Firms for the Net from Bank of America's "Future Banking Blog" - yes, they have a blog.

"With the support of the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, The Law Lab at the Berkman Center at Harvard University is undertaking a project to provide a hosting service for the registration and governance of a digital LLC within Vermont, and to form experimental LLCs to explore new types of operating agreements and models of management and governance. We are actively seeking partners in the form of entrepreneurs, banks, legal scholars and researchers."

In other words, completely net based businesses.
Sweet.

Being a man is a calling

2009-02-13T18:01:00.001-06:00

Will Briggs has written a thought provoking post over at The Art of Manliness blog asking if manliness is obsolete. Using "three classes of manly virtues" to explore the subject, he rightfully concludes that manliness is still needed.

Here's his conclusion:
"But the ultimate reason to embrace manly virtues is that they are virtues. Being the best man you can be is a calling. The world may not thank us if we follow it, but thanks isn’t what we’re after. Excellence is, and charity."

Virtues. Calling. Thanks. Excellence.

Being a man is a challenge. It's a much maligned, misunderstood, misused and generally thankless job. And those aren't the reasons it's challenging either.

The primary reason it's a challenge it that it's meant to be. The challenges of manhood are the very things that make us men if we'll allow them to mold, grow and inspire us.

I'm reminded of the story of the man who was told by God to push a large boulder in his yard. Everyday the man pushed and pushed, but to no avail. After a year of efforts he was utterly defeated because he had failed to move the rock at all.

But God told him he was not a failure. He told him to look at how his body had become strong, chiseled and powerful. Then He reminded him that he had not told the man to move the rock, simply to push against it. Because of that effort, and the results it produced, the man was now ready for a task.

And so it is with much of what we encounter in life. What we see as the great challenges are there to push us forward, not defeat us. Don't allow them to defeat you. Understand that manly virtues are worth the work and that being a man is indeed a calling.

Now heed the call.

My Facebook "25 Things"

2009-02-12T17:27:00.001-06:00

After multiple requests over on Facebook, I wrote a list of 25 things about me.

Here it is:

1. I shutter to think where I’d be were it not for my captivatingly beautiful and righteous babe of a wife Jill. Likely dead. I’m not kidding.

2. I’m on career number 2 and will likely have at least one more if things go as I hope. Don’t even ask how many jobs I’ve held.

3. I LOVE skiing. I’ve gone once in the last 20+ years. Hope I can change that someday. Soon if possible.

4. My kids amaze me though I wish I could engage with them more. It’s one of several goals for this year.

5. Other goals? Get around friends more - individually and as a family. Date my wife regularly. Write consistently, finish my book and start at least one more.

6. Yes, I’m writing a book that’s taken me way too long to finish. Entitled “Why I Failed in the Music Business (and how to NOT follow in my footsteps), it’s about the business things I’ve learned since
leaving the music industry. Specifically, the critical skills and concepts that are NEVER taught to artists, musicians, dancers and actors. Which explains why most of them will starve.

7. I became a Christian at the age of 22 through playing in a bar band and basically living with a girl - as you can guess, it’s a rather long story.

8. The short version is I ended up in church on Easter Sunday and my life changed - inside. I’m still working on the outside, just like everyone else.

9. Anyone that tells you Christianity is about perfection and not sinning is lying.

10. Same thing if they tell you it’s boring and only for weak, stupid people.

11. I’ve found following Christ to be an unending adventure full of battles, defeats, joys and victories. It’s about war. Literally.

12. You may now think I’m nuts. Read the book Wild At Heart.

13. Wild At Heart, by John Eldredge, changed my life as a man. Better said, it revealed my deepest, groaning desires to live as a man by validating those desires. Up until that point, I had said they were wrong and/or I was unable to live them. They are not wrong. I work everyday to live them.

14. I find the more I live these desires - specifically to live as a man full of strength, passion and faith (not just “lofty” spiritual faith, but tangible “life is about changing things for the better” faith) - the more I move mountains. Imagine that.

15. I also find that living this way frees my wife and kids to live fully alive too.

16. My favorite quote is: “The glory of God is man fully alive” written by St. Irenaeus nearly 2000 years ago.

17. There isn’t a finer explanation of the reason I’m here. Or you. God requires something of us and it’s the biggest most exciting challenge ever made. See #11 for more.

18. My second favorite quote is from Howard Thurman: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” That’s why I
believe I’ll have yet another career.

19. Career number three? It took me about 40 years to realize that I am an encourager and teacher. I thought I was a drummer. I thought I was provider for my family. A number of other things. Leaving the music business and entering the workforce put me on the fast track of personal and professional development and in the process uncovered a passion for seeing people succeed. Over time I’ve realized that this is what I want to do. All I have to do now is believe I can, and believe I can while providing for my family.

20. I realized two weeks ago that even as a drummer, my passion was always to encourage. Anyone who’s played with me knows how I inevitably throw something in to say “you’re not having enough fun yet!”

21. My wife and I almost divorced around the 7 year mark. For a couple that refused to even speak that word it was a devastating blow. We celebrated 23 years together on Feb. 10th. I never criticize those that are divorced. Never. However, to those considering it I say in no uncertain terms, fight your guts out to fix your marriage.

Marriage is the most difficult work on earth and we shouldn’t be surprised that it is. All life and stability comes out of marriages. Is it right of us to think their supposed to just “be” happy and secure? And that doesn’t even take into account the fact that it involves two people actually living together everyday.

In the same place.

Sharing stuff!

My advice? Get married. Work your guts out to make it a passionate, deeply engaged, “we’ll work through everything and anything in this adventure called life together” relationship. Amaze your friends and family. Give God the glory.

22. If you haven’t guessed by now, I think men should be men and we don’t have nearly enough.

23. Conversely, I think women should be women. Which brings up the fact that I am borderline hopelessly captivated by women. Fortunately the leading person in this category is the aforementioned live saving,
captivatingly beautiful and righteous babe of a wife Jill. That doesn’t, however, mean that I am immune to all the other babes. I wish it did. Thus the borderline.

I’m committed to living on the correct side of the border.

24. I have a Grammy, an Academy of Country Music award and the Highest Achievement Award from the Dale Carnegie course. Of the three, the Carnegie award means the most ’cause I use what I learned every day. I
became a Carnegie Facilitator last year.

25. It deeply hurts me to see people living despondent, “it’s okay”, “I guess this is all there is”, miserable lives.

There’s more!

Easily attained? No. Requiring work? Yes. Hard, personal, sometimes frustratingly discouraging work? Yes again. Guaranteed success work? No, though my experiences would suggest that you’ll gain more than you thought anyway.

So, as an encourager (see #19), I leave you with this. Live fully alive, we need you.

Links Feb 12

2009-02-12T17:17:00.001-06:00

If you're looking for an owner's manual, it just might be here.
Here's the simplest yet effective todo list I've ever seen suggested.

A REAL Stimulus Package

2009-02-12T17:11:00.000-06:00

Just in case you've forgotten that people using their creativity is the only solution to problems, I've got two great posts to send you to today.

First, Mark Cuban is offering The Mark Cuban Stimulus Plan - Open Source Funding. He's putting his substantial money where his mouth is by offering to fund any and all start-up ideas. If you've been ruminating over a concept and wondering how you'd start, now's your chance.

And if you don't have an idea, then read this post at sixmonthmba.com. Entitled Hamster Burial Kits & 998 Other Business Ideas it is, as you might guess, a list of 999 business ideas. Yes, 999. And they were all imagined by nine people in a week.

Posts like this do nothing to encourage my belief in our country and world because I already have 100% belief. We were made in the image of a creative God and these posts prove it.

Your turn.

A WhyIFailed Announcement

2009-02-09T18:01:00.001-06:00

I'm moving me again! Well, part of me.

For the past several months I've been experimenting with using this blog for any and all thoughts I had on any number of subjects. And while there have been advantages to this approach, I've come to realize that I'm serving neither myself nor my readers well. So, I'm moving part of me back to my other blog: The
Advantaged.

WhyIFailed.com
My writing and linking on Why I Failed.com will focus exclusively on the artistic community - or as a friend likes to call them: "creatives."

And I know you know who you are.

It continues to be my passion to see you succeed as you are meant to succeed. And it continues to be my belief that most of you have no clue what it takes to succeed in business - and the entertainment industry is indeed a business. And this blog is all about business and success principles you can apply in your quest to reach your goals. You do have goals, don't you?

Um, that's lesson number one.

The Advantaged
My passion extends beyond the arts community and that's what I'll write about at The Advantaged. More specifically, I'll write about business in general, manhood, marriage, Christ, technology, social networking and the society in which we live.

Why The Advantaged? Because we are, at least those of us who follow Christ. It's my belief that we live in a fallen world, but we follow the One who created it. The One who knows its design, its workings and methods. And this One wants a personal relationship with us. Daily. In everything.

Seems like an advantage to me.

Visit me at The Advantaged for more.

Online Me
None of this changes my ongoing facination with all things online and I'll continue to experiment and build on the offerings scattered around our 2.0/3.0 Web. In fact, expect that this new year will bring a move of The Advantaged from blogspot to its own domain and possibly moving both blogs to another host (any suggestions?). Perhaps even a server of my own - but I know close to NOTHING about that (again, suggestions?).

I hope you'll subscribe to one or both of my blogs 'cause I'd like to encourage you in any way I can.

Thanks for reading.

Developing Manly Courage

2009-02-09T14:35:00.000-06:00

It's my view that the cause for much of the world's ills is the lack of men. Not males mind you, but men.

This terrific post from The Art of Manliness blog supports my view and offers solutions as well.

Links Feb. 5

2009-02-05T17:46:00.001-06:00

Seth Godin on Solving a different problem.

Reminds me of a Henry Ford quote I keep on my monitor at work:
"If I'd listened to customers, I'd have given them a faster horse."

It's your turn.

Pay Attention Please to the "Stimulus" Package

2009-02-05T11:47:00.000-06:00

Brad Hilderbrand nails it in this cutting post about business as usual on Capital Hill.

We are on the verge of bankrupting our nation and moving to socialism all in the matter of months. Please get involved and write your Representatives and Senator. IF there's a package needed at all - I'm not convinced - we certainly do not need one full of hundreds of BILLIONS of spending on unrelated pet projects.

Links for Feb 2

2009-02-04T18:28:00.001-06:00

http://www.allthingsworkplace.com/2009/02/right-wrong-and-who-will-go-first.html

- An indepth exploration of the things that keep us from being happy. Namely, or attachment to being right.

http://www.bestuniversities.com/blog/2009/top-100-leadership-blogs/

- As the title suggests, check out this list of 100 Leadership blogs. They're segmented into useful categories too: Development, Youth and Student, Community, Managing Others, Female, Religious, Workplace and Team.

I can vouch for #'s 3, 7, 39, 78, 79, 82 (if you read just one regularly...) and 90.

Thoughts on Business

2009-02-02T10:15:00.001-06:00

Read this today in a book summary of How We Lead Matters by Marilyn Carlson Nelson:

"Business in one of the most powerful forces on the planet - for good or for ill. Its domain is far-reaching and pervasive. Those of us who are "called to business" as our life pursuit must learn how best to leverage our influence and work across sectors on complex problems for the common good. We must be what is called "integrative leaders."

"In an increasingly complex and interconnected world, business leaders must pause and contemplate the way businesses can best interact with the non-profit and public sectors. It's not unlike the way the ancients looked at the skies: some just saw stars, but others saw the patterns of dogs, bears, goddesses, and hunters. They connected the dots, and we'll never again see the sky in the same way."

If you - like me and most people - are called to the world of business, whether ditch-digger or CEO, you are a man or woman of influence. Be sure you are using it for good and not ill. Be sure you treasure and nurture not only your calling, but the skills, abilities and knowledge that will impact your company. Your family.

Our world.

A 95 Year Old Me

2008-01-21T13:57:00.001-06:00

This past weekend, I was challenged by an interview with executive coach Marshall Goldsmith. In it, he said to imagine what a 95 year old me would tell the current me to do to have a better life. So here goes:

Steve. Stop wasting time.

Stop thinking you can get to it later. Stop thinking that small amounts of time aren't useful. Stop thinking that it doesn't matter if you get to something or not and that you'll have plenty of time to do it another, well, time.

Stop thinking that the window of opportunity to do what's on your heart is unlimited. It's not. There's a season for everything, and each season has a limited amount of time.

Stop working without a plan. As something you read on Friday says: "Things rarely get stuck because of lack of time. They get stuck because the doing of them has not been defined." So, stop making things up as you go along and make a plan. In fact, make many of them - you need it.

And stop worrying about time too. Namely, take some time for you. Rest. Relax. Enjoy the TIME.

Are you listening Steve?

I hope so.

Communion

2007-08-05T07:18:00.000-05:00

One of the responsibilities of the Elders of our church is to lead communion. As a new Elder, this morning is my first time. We'll see how it goes, but here are my thoughts on the subject.

When Christ initiated this moment 2000 years ago, there must have been a reason. And as I've considered what to say about communion, I've been struck by the fact that the reason goes beyond the fact that we're forgetful. Of course He wants us to remember Him and what He did, but the reason beyond that is the why.

Christ's death, burial and resurrection accomplished two things. They are both gifts. They both require faith. They are both complete. But they are not the same.

One requires nothing of us, the other, everything.
One is about rest, and one is about action.
One is about peace, one is about war.
One is about escaping death, the other, living life.
One is about freedom and the second? Response-ability.

The First
We have been redeemed. Christ died to take our sin to the grave once and for all and holy, righteous and complete new creatures. This loving gift is ours to have, and we are called to remember this - and allocate it into our lives - each time we take communion. Nothing is required of us to take this gift of rest, peace, escape from death and freedom.

And freedom is the why of this first part of communion. We are called upon to remember that we are new creatures no longer enslaved to the power of sin. We are free. Free to be all that was in the mind of our Creator when we were first designed. Free.

The Second
But it strikes me that we are free whether we remember it or not. There is nothing in scripture that says we must remember we are saved in Christ in order for it to be true. We are saved in Christ. Period. End of story, done.

But Christ did not die on the cross to enable us to sit at the table of communion and remember He died on the cross. He died on the cross so His plans could be fulfilled despite the fallen, dying, decomposing world in which we live. He died and rose to enable us to live out the purpose within our hearts - the ones HE put there. He died to empower us to live from our hearts.

The bible is explicit in teaching us that the heart is the wellspring of life, that God has put desires in our hearts, and that we will need Christ's help desperately in order to live out those desires. THIS is why we're called upon to take communion: it is a time to remember that it is through Christ that we can do all things. It's about response-ability.

Christ's death, burial and resurrection empowers our ability to respond to our calling and the world around us. A calling to power-full relationships, marriages and positions. Having life sustaining relationships, passionate and loving marriages, and positions of influence and power in the marketplace and community requires action. It requires everything we are, and we cannot possibly give everything we are without remembering the One who made us. The One who died and rose again to sustain us and moves us in living our design every day.

Lord, as we take the bread and the wine, give us your mercy and grace in abundance. Give us your mercy in a way that tangibly washes us clean. A clean that we know to be true in such a way that our knowledge of being FREE cannot be shaken. Give us this foundation. and give us your grace. Your empowering grace to MOVE in the things we know we are called to. The things of your word, the things of our prayers and the things that you've placed deep in our hearts. Give us the grace to live this life you've given us.

In Christ. Amen.

Dying Decently

2007-08-03T05:56:00.000-05:00

Ever since I first read "the glory of God is man fully alive," I've considered it my favorite quote (it's from St. Iraneaus, btw). It resonates deep within me as the perfect summation of God's heart for His redeemed. Christ said that He came to give us life and if that's true, then it follows that He is glorified when we live.

The significance of the quote, besides that it was written 500+ years ago, is that it is so NEEDED today. Instead of people living fully alive - and I'll define that for me in a later post - I see people barely living at all. This non-living has been called many things: mediocre, satisfied, boring and waiting. I often choose waiting when describing this tragedy because what I see is people who know they're saved and going to heaven and they think that's all there is. So they merely seek to get through life until death when "they get to go home."

But these words like waiting have never quite explained my deepest thoughts on the subject. The people I seek to describe are dear, dear people. They are people I know personally as well as millions, perhaps billions that I don't. They are not bad. They are not lazy. They are striving and moving towards a worthwhile goal in their lives on earth and in the life to come.

But "waiting" fails to describe the frustration and struggle apparent in Christians. We, as a people, SAY we are joy-full and peace-full, but we're not. We live nice, friendly, mostly sinless lives, but we're not victorious, and it's because we sense there's something more that we're missing. So, we're restless and discontented.

Then I read this quote from Thomas Carlyle last night:
"The courage we desire and prize is not the courage to die decently, but to live manfully."

Dying decently, while a worthy goal, is simply not compelling enough, meaningful enough or challenging enough. It is the perfect lie because it makes us feel good and it keeps us moving. But it's ultimately hollow and meaningless - to us and the world around us. But because it LOOKS right, we're left assuming that we'll find contentment if we work at dying decently even HARDER.

We need to abandon this notion of dying decently - and living decently - and exchange it for the idea of LIVING. Living from a holy, righteous, empowered heart centered on God and His will. A will that requires us completely. And requiring us completely is God's heart. God sent His Son for you because He needs you for something - a something that He created you for. Living fully alive happens when you move in that intended creation. It happens when you move in the things of life that require YOU. And rest assured that the you that this living requires is exactly what your heart cries out to be.

It exemplifies your heart's desire to live manfully or womanfully because that is the heart's cry of your God.

To Believe In That World

2007-08-02T21:59:00.000-05:00

By William James:

"In human life, although we only see our world, yet encompassing it a still wider world may be there; and to believe in that world may be the most essential function that our lives in this world have to perform. The "scientific" life itself has much to do with maybes, and human life at large has everything to do with them. Not a victory is gained, not a deed of faithfulness or courage is done, except upon a maybe; not a service, not a sally of generosity, not a scientific exploration or experiment or textbook, that may not be a mistake. It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true."

We must risk if we are to live at all.

Atheism - By Scott Adams

2007-08-01T16:26:00.001-05:00

I just HAD to link to this totally humorous and TRUE post about Atheism by Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert). The comments are awful so don't even bother, but I like Scott's logic.

Enjoy!

Looking Beyond Our Imagined Good

2007-07-31T07:00:00.000-05:00

"Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating." Simone Weil

It deeply saddens me that on the whole, Christians have done an awful job creating a vision of GOOD that is "new, marvolous and intoxicating." Instead, we've focused on two important, but completed aspects of our faith.

The first is redemption. It is important because it is the foundational truth for everything we believe. Christ's death, burial and resurrection redeemed us from the curse of sin and has made us new again. It is also complete. There is nothing more to do beyond His saving act.

Second is "the don'ts." Outside of salvation, the other focus of the church is what not to do or say. We've reduced our remaining time on earth to a mission focused on staying within a series of restricting and stifling rules. Now, like redemption, these are important because they are absolute truth and we are called to follow them. But once again, these rules are complete - they were written a LONG time ago.

Now, let me stress that I am NOT saying we should not focus on these things. We should. They are two pillars of the faith. But there's more that we never mention. We tell folks to NOT do this, or NOT do that, without giving them compelling alternatives. Nature abhors a void, and not offering replacements for the bad stuff means it will ultimately come back in. This has left people to lead grasping lives that are, or will be, "gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring."

It's sad. The people around us are literally DYING to see life manifested. Grab hold of God's gift.

Strong, Passionate and Dangerous

2007-07-30T07:33:00.000-05:00

- I want to be strong.
I want to walk and lead with confidence. A confidence that comes from a place filled by God. A confidence that is peaceful yet explosive at the same time. I want to lead, plan, guide, love and move from this place. I want to be strong.
I want to be a man.

- I want to be passionate.
I want to live from a place deep within me. A place where God encourages, inspires and provides. A place I often ignore because of doubts, insecurities and fears. I want to stop ignoring.

I want to go when He says go, speak when He says now, trust when He says move. I want to faithfully live out the dreams He has given and inspire those around me to do the same. In the little and the big, I want to MOVE. And move from my heart.
I want to be a man.

- I want to be dangerous.
I want to unleash the Godly empowered man in me and inspire those around me to greatness and push them to success. I want to sweep my wife off her feet and free her to be the woman she is - beauty-full, power-full and sexy. I want to surprise my kids with my time, devotion and inspiration and help them unleash all that they have as well - abundant and abandoned love for God and their friends and TALENTS! I want to WAKE PEOPLE UP to the gift they've been given:

LIFE! Abundant and empowered life through Christ our Savior.

I want to be a man.
Yes Lord, I want to be a man.

Why You Should Be Wealthy

2007-07-30T07:00:00.000-05:00

Why You Should Be Wealthy
Category: Life

We live in a world that cannot make up it's mind about money. And no group of people is more confused than the church. I personally believe this is a tragedy and I'd like to point out why. So here are my 25 reasons why I think you should be wealthy:

Because you can.
Because others can't.
Because others need you to be so...
They can see your success and believe they can succeed too.
Because righteous, rich and loyal Christians terrify the enemy.
Because a 10% tithe of a lot is a lot.
Because 25% or 50% of a lot is even more.
Because there's no way to legally become wealthy without helping a whole lot of people (and if you win the lottery, see reason #7). Wealth is gained by providing something people want and creating a company (jobs) to provide that something. Both of these activities help people. Period.
Because the Lord gives you the power to gain wealth. Deuteronomy 8:18 - But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.
Because He hates poverty. Among others, here's Prov. 10:15 - The wealth of the rich is their fortified city, but poverty is the ruin of the poor.
Because the bible says the following in Prov. 13:22 - A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children.
Because you'll be free to spend your time how, where and when you're truly needed instead of spending 50% of your waking life working for someone else.
Because you'll eat healthier and probably live longer.
Because you'll have extra food and...
Extra cars and...
Extra homes.
Because someone you know is hungry, has a broken down car, or simply needs a place to go on vacation.
Because you would be a Godly and kindhearted employer.
Because you would be a Godly and kindhearted landlord.
You'd have more peace in your life. I didn't say happiness, I said peace (see reason #10).
Because you could become more active in your community, town, state or country.
Because money is a tool and...
As a tool, it is either controlled by you, used against you, or sitting idly wasting away. Wealth is NOT about amounts, it is about control. It is about stewardship – which is really what this post is about (see reasons 1, 6-9, 11, 12, 13, 14-19 and 25) .
Because properly gained wealth is one of the tangible measures of how you've helped other people. This sounds controversial, but it's not. What I mean is IF and WHEN you help people (see reason #8) you will gain wealth. For some reason, this repels people from moving forward in life. They keep their goals small so "people won't think I'm greedy and selfish." Sorry, but if you have the next Microsoft, Cancer treatment, Automobile Engine or local restaurant idea inside of you and you don't let it out, THAT is being selfish and greedy. And DON'T apologize if letting them out gives you reasons 6, 11, 12, 13-16 and 18-21 in the process.
What have you been given? This is much deeper than reason #1. That is not simply about effort but about living out the big dreams God has placed in your heart. The ones that make you excited and terrified at the same time. The ones that cause you to think "what if" and "no way" in the same breath.

My hope is that you'll put "because you can" with "what have you been given" and become a #5. And isn't that what you really want to be?

The Heart of God

2007-07-28T20:40:00.000-05:00

feminine
- masculine
beautiful
- strong
soft
- tough
loving
- protecting
captivating
- dangerous
gentle
- correcting
enveloping
- leading
fierce
- aggressive
life giving
- guiding
wise
- cunning
tender
- firm
thoughtful
- risky
tough
- determined
sacrificing
- sacrificing

passionate
- yes, passionate

21 Years With Beauty

2007-07-28T20:32:00.000-05:00

Here's what I wrote about our 21st Anniversary this past February:

21 years ago today, after 26 days of dating and 3 months of engagement, Jill and I were married.

That we're still together after 21 years is not a surprise. Of course I'm amazed, thankful, awed, intermittently frustrated and hopeful, but not at all surprised.

I'm amazed because Jill is far more beautiful today than the day we were married - and that is saying a lot. What takes away my breath, though, is the depth of her beauty. It comes from a righteous heart tempered by many storms and struggles, that is determined to grow in faith. A heart that is determined to turn those struggles into victories. A heart that is growing in the realization of purpose and direction.

I'm thankful to a God that has never let us forget that we knew we were to be married and that divorce was NOT an option. More specifically, I'm thankful that on the days that one of us DID forget, the other one didn't. In the end, the fact that both of us have fought for the marriage when the other has forgotten has made what we have all the richer.

I'm awed by the character of Jill. She has stuck by a man that has not always been worthy. She has held tight to God and His promises even when I was working against His plan. She has advised, nurtured, loved and supported until the man that she saw and the marriage she believed in became a reality. She has also touched others, starting wih our children. I will never be able to repay her for the sacrifice, based solely on blind faith, of homeschooling Kayce and Jennah. They are what they are because their mom has laid down so much to just BE there.

I'm intermittently frustrated and hopeful because that's life. Our life is not perfect and we've both bent, twisted, altered and given up on our hopes and dreams until it hurts. Man it hurts. But then there's the deep place inside that says stop and look closer - WOW. I have hope that despite laying down so much, what we've built and will CONTINUE to build is far beyond anything I could've ever imagined.

Yes, I'm amazed, thankful, awed, intermittently frustrated and hopeful, but not at all surprised. I'm not surprised that we've lasted 21 years. The day we got married, we knew it was for life. That was our desire, hope and plan. And I'm not surprised that in the tough times - and there have been the worst imaginable tough times - God met us with exactly what we needed to stay together.

I'm not surprised there have been tough times. Joshua makes it clear why there are "giants in the land" and I'm thankful for them. We have a depth and richness to our relationship born out of those times. Jill and I have fought, clawed, sweated and bled for what we have and we are wealthy for it. We have lived life, and lived it to the full. And what a life it's been.

Happy Anniversary Jill.

Seduction and Wealth

2007-07-08T06:21:00.001-05:00

In the post I just finished, "More About Men," I attempted to make a point about the counterfeits of the enemy and used Victoria's Secret and Donald Trump to illustrate. Let me clarify what I'm saying.

As we look around this world in which we live for meaning and direction we would all do well to remember the Author and Creator of everything as well as His non-creative, deceiving enemy. We would do well to understand that the enemy cannot build, create, design, invent, solve or innovate.

The enemy did not create the beauty, nor the attraction men and women have towards it, that is blasted on our screen in Victoria's Secret commercials. God did. Am I saying that the commercials are okay? No. That beauty, displayed that way, is NOT meant to be viewed by everyone and used to sell stuff. In addition, the commercials put doubts into the minds of both men and women about measuring up to impossible standards.

But would I be wrong to suggest that the power portrayed in those commercials pails in comparison to the power Eve had on Adam when she was first created? Was that power good or bad? What was it for? What does this mean for Godly relationships between men and women?

Same thing with Donald Trump. There's no doubt that he's a driven man (and not by money, by the way), but can you really say the desire to succeed at something grand is unGodly when Adam and Eve were told to explore and subdue the world? What does this mean for Godly men and women today? What does God want us to do, how high should we be aiming for?

I still don't feel like I'm nailing my point, but what I'm trying to say is that there are reasons why we Christians seem to want the same things "the world" wants. Because they aren't "the world's", they're God's. And seeing them in this way - cutting through the deception of a counterfitting and non-creative enemy - gives us motivation and reason to live powerfully and make a difference.

Forgive me if I'm off a bit in expressing my thoughts, I'll keep working at it until it's all out.

More About Men

2007-07-08T06:17:00.000-05:00

I last wrote - far too long ago - asking "Where Are All the Men?" I was frustrated at the time and that feeling hasn't gone away. But I'm not frustrated because of the lack of men, I'm frustrated because of the two reasons I believe there are no men.

First, the enemy has convinced believers that the entire purpose of Christ's death and resurrection was forgiveness and reconciliation. We've been lulled into a self-satisfying waiting game believing that we've been given eternal life with God – a life that begins when we die or when Christ makes his triumphant return. Don't get me wrong, this is indeed an important part of Jesus' victorious resurrection, but it is only a half truth.

Second, the enemy has crafted a desirable set of counterfeit objectives for men (and women) to live for. Well, let me rephrase this second point. My REAL frustration is that we – believers – have missed the truths behind these counterfeits. Aghast at a Victoria's Secret commercial, we teach that seduction is bad. Misunderstanding the motivations of a Donald Trump, we teach that wealth and success are bad. And don't even get me started with our love/hate relationship with sports.

We must see through these lies if we want men and what they can bring. We must believe that beyond salvation, Christ's mission was one of restoration. Restoration to LIFE – and a power filled life at that. A life meant to be lived, explored, molded, crafted and expanded. A life meant to be acted upon and fought for. And we must see that the waiting game lie and the counterfeit objectives are the enemies of this age and our very lives are the way we defeat them.

Marriage isn't simply a commitment for life; it is supposed to be a passion filled relationship full of growth, excitement and adventure. It is the earthly, source of power and encouragement for all that a man and woman can do. Parenting isn't just about teaching children wrong from right; it is the foundation on which civilization rests. Work isn't for food and shelter; it's for inventions, solutions, employment and wealth – for the worker, the community, the nation and the world. And Christ didn't come just for salvation; He came to give life to people He needs for History.
There is no such thing as man who doesn't matter and there is nothing more important and desperately needed than a man boldly living a Christian life.

Where Are All The MEN?

2007-02-17T20:04:00.001-06:00

Three scenarios:
1.) I had Valentine's alone at an Outback in Atlanta. Being a big date night, I had to eat at the bar. A guy next to me, who was an obvious regular, was having a conversation with Stacey the bartender. I was half paying attention when their conversation turned to the night and something about fighting for her. She made the comment "well, maybe my son will fight for me, but..." and her voice trailed off.
2.) Without naming names, a friend of a friend has been involved in a tragic situation involving a collegiate coach that is verbally abusive to his female atheletes. As the women have begun to request intervention on their behalf, the following events have happened.
- A father of one of the girls, who holds a high national position in a religious establishment, has refused to support his daughter because of his reputation.
- The head of the athletic department has said "there can't be a problem, the coaches teams win!"
- It's been discovered that some former students have had to go to therapy to work through the trama from years past.
- A mother of one of the girls, with full support of the dad, has asked her daughter "why are you doing this to him, do you want to ruin his career?" The parents are also extremely concerned with their reputations.
- This same girl has since convinced the girls to lie and say nothing happened.
- The coach was suspended with pay for 6 months, but then was fully reinstated after a week.
- Other faculty have stated that this has been going on for years.
3) In looking around, I'm struck with the amazingly high number of single moms on MySpace.

So I ask you, where are the MEN?

Why is it that a woman can count on her young son to defend her, but not an adult. Why are fathers unwilling to lay their lives - in the form of reputations - on the line for the protection of their daughter's hearts. And why do men freak at the birth of their children and leave?

There are a myriad of reasons, but the one on my heart tonight is the absense of truly masculine role models. As a society, we do not honor husbands, fathers and workers, and we don't do any better in today's churches. So instead of men who know their calling in life is to passionatly love their wives, devote themselves to their children and agressively apply themselves to work, we have a generation that struggles to get by without the world discovering that they are unaware of what it is they should be doing, and scared that they're probably unprepared for it anyway.

It's tragic.

What I Believe

2006-12-24T07:34:00.000-06:00

I believe in you because I know your Creator.

I believe you to be uniquely endowed with talents, gifts and abilities for specific times, places and situations. I don't mean in the sense of "being in the right place at the right time", I mean life. A life that is needed. Your life is needed by the world and the people that surround you. If you do not live this life, those needs will go unmet. You fill a specific place in history that is yours and yours alone.

I also believe that we - individually, corporately, religiously - have fallen tragically short in encouraging you, and all people, to live life. Oh sure, we scream "you only live once, so go for it", "just do it" and "live life to the fullest", but I am not talking about reckless abandon and partying until dawn.

I am talking about boldly answering the cry of your heart. Boldy living a life that manifests the power, glory and effectiveness of the Creator. A life that the world desperately needs you to live.

Live your life, and live it to the full. Look inside and find your heart's cry.

With all that said, I wish you an especially meaningful Holy Day's Season. A season of insight, encouragement and personal commitment to live the life you were meant to live.
God Bless,

Steve

The Advantaged

2006-12-23T20:32:00.000-06:00

What would you call a person who was:

Saved, redeemed, loved, holy, whole, victorious, alive, redeemed, victorious, eternal, triumphant, healed, rescued, active, success-full, given to, encouraged, joy-full, peace-full, strong, deeply touched, fully known, cared for, remembered, needed, beauty-full, provded for, guided, protected and generally living life to the full?

I would call such a person advantaged. Wouldn't you?
Do you know such a person?

Welcome

2006-08-03T07:01:00.000-05:00

Welcome!
Why "the advantaged"? Because we are.

The Advantaged

Shoulders of a Man Part 2

Shoulders of a Man

Deceptive Distraction

The Desires of Your Heart

Pure Light

Rules create loopholes — values do not

Blog Action Day: Climate Change

Oh The Humanity

Checking Homework

Switchfoot "Mess Of Me"

More About Covenant College

Covenant College Orientation

Our Proposed Health Care Plan

Faith and the Art of Motorcycle Riding

A Wife's Concerns

He Longs for Justice

Unspeakably Sad

Marriage Necessities 3

Unforced Rhythms

Broken

technorati claim

Marriage Necessities 1 & 2

Faith and Government

Faith based living

Fear based living

My three blogs

Worm Theology

More Link Thoughts

I'm a Coward

Thankful

2 Links

Production and consumption are the real economy

Lifestyle

We must get back to our founding document

Why has the market plunged?

Understanding Purpose at 12

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it

Once upon a time

Even AP said it

Make an inventory and clean up your home

Pre-World War III, or IV or V?

My heart on the matter

Moving Beyond the Fake Stimulus

Government Service?

Mashable gives us 60+ How To sites

Links Feb. 13 (and comments)

Being a man is a calling

My Facebook "25 Things"

Links Feb 12

A REAL Stimulus Package

A WhyIFailed Announcement

Developing Manly Courage

Links Feb. 5

Pay Attention Please to the "Stimulus" Package

Links for Feb 2

Thoughts on Business

A 95 Year Old Me

Communion

Dying Decently

To Believe In That World

Atheism - By Scott Adams

Looking Beyond Our Imagined Good

Strong, Passionate and Dangerous

Why You Should Be Wealthy

The Heart of God

21 Years With Beauty

Seduction and Wealth

More About Men

Where Are All The MEN?

What I Believe

The Advantaged

Welcome