My Facebook "25 Things"

After multiple requests over on Facebook, I wrote a list of 25 things about me.

Here it is:

1. I shutter to think where I’d be were it not for my captivatingly beautiful and righteous babe of a wife Jill. Likely dead. I’m not kidding.

2. I’m on career number 2 and will likely have at least one more if things go as I hope. Don’t even ask how many jobs I’ve held.

3. I LOVE skiing. I’ve gone once in the last 20+ years. Hope I can change that someday. Soon if possible.

4. My kids amaze me though I wish I could engage with them more. It’s one of several goals for this year.

5. Other goals? Get around friends more - individually and as a family. Date my wife regularly. Write consistently, finish my book and start at least one more.

6. Yes, I’m writing a book that’s taken me way too long to finish. Entitled “Why I Failed in the Music Business (and how to NOT follow in my footsteps), it’s about the business things I’ve learned since
leaving the music industry. Specifically, the critical skills and concepts that are NEVER taught to artists, musicians, dancers and actors. Which explains why most of them will starve.

7. I became a Christian at the age of 22 through playing in a bar band and basically living with a girl - as you can guess, it’s a rather long story.

8. The short version is I ended up in church on Easter Sunday and my life changed - inside. I’m still working on the outside, just like everyone else.

9. Anyone that tells you Christianity is about perfection and not sinning is lying.

10. Same thing if they tell you it’s boring and only for weak, stupid people.

11. I’ve found following Christ to be an unending adventure full of battles, defeats, joys and victories. It’s about war. Literally.

12. You may now think I’m nuts. Read the book Wild At Heart.

13. Wild At Heart, by John Eldredge, changed my life as a man. Better said, it revealed my deepest, groaning desires to live as a man by validating those desires. Up until that point, I had said they were wrong and/or I was unable to live them. They are not wrong. I work everyday to live them.

14. I find the more I live these desires - specifically to live as a man full of strength, passion and faith (not just “lofty” spiritual faith, but tangible “life is about changing things for the better” faith) - the more I move mountains. Imagine that.

15. I also find that living this way frees my wife and kids to live fully alive too.

16. My favorite quote is: “The glory of God is man fully alive” written by St. Irenaeus nearly 2000 years ago.

17. There isn’t a finer explanation of the reason I’m here. Or you. God requires something of us and it’s the biggest most exciting challenge ever made. See #11 for more.

18. My second favorite quote is from Howard Thurman: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” That’s why I
believe I’ll have yet another career.

19. Career number three? It took me about 40 years to realize that I am an encourager and teacher. I thought I was a drummer. I thought I was provider for my family. A number of other things. Leaving the music business and entering the workforce put me on the fast track of personal and professional development and in the process uncovered a passion for seeing people succeed. Over time I’ve realized that this is what I want to do. All I have to do now is believe I can, and believe I can while providing for my family.

20. I realized two weeks ago that even as a drummer, my passion was always to encourage. Anyone who’s played with me knows how I inevitably throw something in to say “you’re not having enough fun yet!”

21. My wife and I almost divorced around the 7 year mark. For a couple that refused to even speak that word it was a devastating blow. We celebrated 23 years together on Feb. 10th. I never criticize those that are divorced. Never. However, to those considering it I say in no uncertain terms, fight your guts out to fix your marriage.

Marriage is the most difficult work on earth and we shouldn’t be surprised that it is. All life and stability comes out of marriages. Is it right of us to think their supposed to just “be” happy and secure? And that doesn’t even take into account the fact that it involves two people actually living together everyday.

In the same place.

Sharing stuff!

My advice? Get married. Work your guts out to make it a passionate, deeply engaged, “we’ll work through everything and anything in this adventure called life together” relationship. Amaze your friends and family. Give God the glory.

22. If you haven’t guessed by now, I think men should be men and we don’t have nearly enough.

23. Conversely, I think women should be women. Which brings up the fact that I am borderline hopelessly captivated by women. Fortunately the leading person in this category is the aforementioned live saving,
captivatingly beautiful and righteous babe of a wife Jill. That doesn’t, however, mean that I am immune to all the other babes. I wish it did. Thus the borderline.

I’m committed to living on the correct side of the border.

24. I have a Grammy, an Academy of Country Music award and the Highest Achievement Award from the Dale Carnegie course. Of the three, the Carnegie award means the most ’cause I use what I learned every day. I
became a Carnegie Facilitator last year.

25. It deeply hurts me to see people living despondent, “it’s okay”, “I guess this is all there is”, miserable lives.

There’s more!

Easily attained? No. Requiring work? Yes. Hard, personal, sometimes frustratingly discouraging work? Yes again. Guaranteed success work? No, though my experiences would suggest that you’ll gain more than you thought anyway.

So, as an encourager (see #19), I leave you with this. Live fully alive, we need you.