Shoulders of a Man

I read a captivating collection of insight, truth, beauty and sorrow yesterday entitled "A Wife's Eyes are the Window to a Man's Soul." It was written by Randy Elrod and I encourage you to read it here. Actually, implore would be a more accurate word - GO READ IT!

I suspect this will develop into a series, but I at least have to talk about the weight of Randy's observations and the fact that this weight is squarely on the shoulders of the man. Though the cliche "when momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" might be amusing, it is wrong. The truth is that when daddy ain't a man, ain't nobody happy. And I've grown to accept and appreciate this fact as you'll see below.

The mantle of leadership in a marriage sits squarely on the shoulders of the man. It cannot be removed, it is not there by the choice of either individual and it is there whether the two parties involved recognize it or not.

Three thoughts:

1. I know I'm on the thin ice of "wives be in submission to your husband" and the associated abusive actions, teachings and destroyed families. But that just proves the point. The leadership in a marriage - good, bad or indifferent - decides it's fate. And the leadership is the man.
2. The weight of this mantle is crushing. It is of grave importance, difficult to do well, hard to define and under constant attack from both the world and the wife. It's supposed to be. As Randy states, this is about the measure of a man and no man can be a man without overcoming challenges and adversity (no woman either).
3. The mantle can be managed, and it can be managed well. How? Submission.
   

I've found that the only way to successful manage this mantle of authority is to submit to both the role itself and the One who bestowed it. This helps me shut out my gut reactions of wanting to run, hide, cower or control - and believe me, I want to do all of those ALL the time. Instead, I remind myself that if I'm in the role, I must therefore be "qualified." At the same time though, I am deeply aware that I'm not qualified at all and cannot succeed without the guidance and council of God in all matters.

It's a delicate balance because it's easy to get it wrong. I spend my life going back and forth between "I'm the MAN" and "here God, fix this!" It's ugly. And damaging. When I hit the right balance though, it's power-ful for those around me and myself.

The mantle of leadership in a marriage is bestowed upon the man for the purpose of blessing. it is meant to not only bless the wife, children and community (the world), it is meant to bless the man. Reread the final section of Randy's post with this in mind and imagine the man who's wife has "Fulfilled Eyes".

Do you think he's blessed? Blessed indeed.