Shoulders of a Man Part 2

I mentioned in my last post that I had read a captivating collection of insight, truth, beauty and sorrow entitled "A Wife's Eyes are the Window to a Man's Soul" written by Randy Elrod. I'll come back to truth again, but want to touch on insight.

I'm reminded of a passage in Wild At Heart where author John Eldredge writes of his own interactions with women. He describes talking with a woman and internally asking: "what is God revealing about Eve? What is He revealing about himself?" There's such wisdom and power in those questions.

We all have that opportunity everyday, all the time. This kind of awareness is evident in Randy's observations about his associates wives over the years. Oh that we would all live so aware.

Human interaction is so much more than sight, touch and sound. It is about life. It empowers, feeds and fills us, if we will let it.

I hope you will. 

Shoulders of a Man

I read a captivating collection of insight, truth, beauty and sorrow yesterday entitled "A Wife's Eyes are the Window to a Man's Soul." It was written by Randy Elrod and I encourage you to read it here. Actually, implore would be a more accurate word - GO READ IT!

I suspect this will develop into a series, but I at least have to talk about the weight of Randy's observations and the fact that this weight is squarely on the shoulders of the man. Though the cliche "when momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" might be amusing, it is wrong. The truth is that when daddy ain't a man, ain't nobody happy. And I've grown to accept and appreciate this fact as you'll see below.

The mantle of leadership in a marriage sits squarely on the shoulders of the man. It cannot be removed, it is not there by the choice of either individual and it is there whether the two parties involved recognize it or not.

Three thoughts:

1. I know I'm on the thin ice of "wives be in submission to your husband" and the associated abusive actions, teachings and destroyed families. But that just proves the point. The leadership in a marriage - good, bad or indifferent - decides it's fate. And the leadership is the man.
2. The weight of this mantle is crushing. It is of grave importance, difficult to do well, hard to define and under constant attack from both the world and the wife. It's supposed to be. As Randy states, this is about the measure of a man and no man can be a man without overcoming challenges and adversity (no woman either).
3. The mantle can be managed, and it can be managed well. How? Submission.
   

I've found that the only way to successful manage this mantle of authority is to submit to both the role itself and the One who bestowed it. This helps me shut out my gut reactions of wanting to run, hide, cower or control - and believe me, I want to do all of those ALL the time. Instead, I remind myself that if I'm in the role, I must therefore be "qualified." At the same time though, I am deeply aware that I'm not qualified at all and cannot succeed without the guidance and council of God in all matters.

It's a delicate balance because it's easy to get it wrong. I spend my life going back and forth between "I'm the MAN" and "here God, fix this!" It's ugly. And damaging. When I hit the right balance though, it's power-ful for those around me and myself.

The mantle of leadership in a marriage is bestowed upon the man for the purpose of blessing. it is meant to not only bless the wife, children and community (the world), it is meant to bless the man. Reread the final section of Randy's post with this in mind and imagine the man who's wife has "Fulfilled Eyes".

Do you think he's blessed? Blessed indeed.

Deceptive Distraction

A dear and powerfully insightful friend wrote a couple of posts on his blog this week and I've been a part of the ongoing conversation over there. Instead of commenting on his latest post, I'm writing here for more room. It all started as a result of a fascinating, but incriminating report by the Barna Group siting all How Teenagers' Faith Practices are Changing. I'm sure you can guess they're NOT changing for the better.

I commented: "Probably because I'm reading Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy, but my answer to why is that we've been deceived into accepting the Gospel of "Sin Management" instead of heaven on earth and kingdom of God LIFE. So instead of living and therefore preaching the good news of power/passion/joy/purpose infused life, all we have is a list of don't dos. And that is no good news at all."

Then I read this today on Pete Wilson's blog: "We have a culture-war spirituality that produces Christians who might never share their faith but are ready at a moment’s notice to debate politics, abortion and civil union for gay couples. It is a spirituality that calls down fire on its enemies and shapes its followers into intolerant soldiers waging a morality crusade. Its
kingdom is the eventual triumph of moral conservatism, and its spirituality is conflict and argument."  - Michael Spencer

So at a time of an unprecedented flow of information and communication, we've been deceived into focusing on distracting half-truths in stead of life giving full truths. What would happen if:

• We showed people a life so empowered by faith that they became desperate
  to know how it's done.
• We told kids/teenagers so much about the wonders and joys of marriage that they wouldn't settle for anything less?
  
• And that the discussion included SEX ('cause it is, after all, part of the wonder and joy)!
• And that the primary reason for the joy and wonder of marriage is the challenge of it being between a man and woman. "Of COURSE it's difficult, how else are you going to grow into a powerful and purpose-fulfilling man or woman without it?"
• And btw, THAT'S the call of the gospel. To grow into a powerful and purpose-fulfilling man or woman. The forgiveness of sin is NOT the goal. Forgiveness of sin is the "must have" that God takes care of so you can ask him about the power and purpose.
• And to add to that, what if we painted the proper, glory-filled picture of life that they got completely enamored with the whole idea that they actually started WORKING for it?

Of course the bigger question I'm uncovering is how do we first live like this? And I'm asking because that's where the deceptive distraction has the tightest hold. Not only do we communicate the half-truths, we live them.

And that's tragic.

The Desires of Your Heart

I'm posting a link to this Untemplater video interview of Seth Godin on all my blogs today for two reasons. And since my first reason is the same for all three postings, it's at the bottom. My number 2 reason, specific to this blog appears first.

2.) This quote: "who can I change, what sort of example can I set. How can I build a platform for spreading ideas? ...to spread ideas and to make positive change." Inspiring stuff.

Despite all the bad news and very real struggles in the world today, I hope you'll grasp the core of the message of this video: there has never been a more opportunity filled time in the history of the world than today. There's never been a time so supportive of individuality and creativity. And Godliness.

"The glory of God is man fully alive" - St. Ireneaus

Now is the time to faithfully commit to explore the God breathed desires of your heart. To seek what it is God meant when he created YOU! And not just explore, but to then put hope, then faith, and then ACTION into and GO!

Because the unprecedented opportunities are not about you. They never are.

My wife and I attended a leadership conference this past weekend where we heard the following quote from Pastor John Guest: "This is a generation (all ages today) in DESPERATE need of inspirational leadership. A generation longing for authentic, passionate followers of Christ." Yes indeed.

We need you. Live fully alive!

1.) It's brilliant and I'm not exaggerating. If you are wondering what's going on the world today - financially, socially, etc., etc., - this interview covers most all of it thoroughly and insight-FULLY in ways you will not find anywhere else. Not only does Seth see the big pictures, but he puts them in dead-simple terms that will impact your life. At least I hope they will. Two quotes:
- "The future will not be like the past only shinier"
- The current economic template "was invented by people who owned factories"

I cannot oversell the importance of watching this video and paying attention to what's said.


Enjoy

Pure Light

If I asked you to draw something black on a piece of paper with crayons, you would have to do one of two things: either use a black crayon or use all the other crayons at once. In order to make black, we have to use all the colors together. Likewise, the best way to make white is to draw, well, nothing because white is the absence of color. Yes, there's a white crayon, but the blank sheet of paper is best. Pure blank white paper.

But the universe is different. The deep black of space is not a combination of all colors. It is in fact, a complete void and white is just the opposite, it is the combination of all colors.

This is our struggle with purity, holiness and righteousness.

Just like our earthly perspective of crayons and paper, we believe the way to achieve holiness is to take stuff away. If we can just get down to the pure, white paper - void of all the bad stuff - we will be set. And so we set about to remove stuff from our life. Less eating, less cursing, less sinning, less, less, less... This works until we run out of stuff.

I'm not suggesting that any of us EVER get rid of the sin and crap in our lives, but in our day-to-day struggle to walk "upright" we all get to the realization that we don't know what else to do. So, we double up our efforts at rooting out the problems and begin eating ourselves from the inside. We question our motivations, desires, hopes, dreams, etc., until we're so twisted in knots that we're rendered useless to the world and no longer living.

But purity, holiness and righteousness are not blanks. They don't exist because of an absence of sin, strife and death, they exist in spite of these things. In fact, they exist in obliterating power, might, impact and blinding perfection.

Purity, holiness and righteousness are not lack. They are...everything. They are life.

If we are to ever grab hold of "I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10), we have got to grab hold of this reality. We have to stop seeing His will as one of seeking to dismantle our lives bit by bit until we are a blank sheet of paper. We must instead see Him as offering us abundant power and might that obliterates the junk and impacts the world.

Rules create loopholes — values do not

I was fortunate to have the opportunity to hear John Eldredge speak in person several months back. My life has been deeply impacted by his writing and his words that night continued that work. There was one statement he made that I knew at the time set a trajectory for my life: "the sorrow of the earth is bad kings."

Those words brought focus to my many thoughts about men and women and their (my) struggle to fulfill their purpose. In particular, it brought out the desperate need of humanity for leaders. True, purposeful, solid and, as this post from Fast Company perfectly explains, value centered leaders.

"Rules create loopholes — values do not. If those in leadership roles want to shape behavior, they must pay more attention to instilling values. They are the underpinning of belief, and that's what inspires people and gives them a sense of mission and purpose. Only beliefs and the values that underpin them can be shared. Values perform a kind of double duty by acting as both a source and a mechanism for regulation." - Dov Seidman

I encourage you to read the whole post, but first let me define leader and king as I see it: you.

Despite the headlines, the world does not need a better Obama, European Union or solution in Afghanistan, what the world needs is you and I fulfilling our true callings as kings and queens (little k and q). Kings and queens who humbly lead, manage and steward their individual sphere of responsibility with skill, compassion, vision and integrity.

This will never happen as long as we believe the inherently evil and life-robbing notion that the destiny of the earth lies in the hands of wealthy, successful, important, recognized, powerful, highly esteemed, recognized or elected as big L and K, Leaders and Kings.  And it won't happen if we believe the destiny is in the hands of Priests and Pastors.

Don't misunderstand me to say we don't need Leaders, Kings, Priests and Pastors. We do. Nothing works without a hierarchy. And don't misunderstand me to let all of them off the hook for the sorrows of the earth. There are many who's hands are guilty of much blood and sorrow. I'm not addressing those issues.

I'm addressing what I see as the biggest challenge in the world today: epidemic levels of worthlessness driven complacency. The world is FULL of people who have no idea what to do because they have no idea they matter.

See, there are two types of bad kings: evil ones and passive ones. The sorrow of the earth is passive kings (and queens - little k and q).

It's time to fully assume your throne.

Blog Action Day: Climate Change

Today I am writing in tandem with thousands of bloggers around the world taking part in blogactionday, an annual event powered by Change.org. Despite the fact that I don't agree with everything they do, I can support their idea of unifying folks to speak about the great issues of our day. And besides, I like this years topic: Climate Change.

I like it because I of three strongly held beliefs on the subject:

1.) Gravity and causes: Yes we're seeing Climate Change around the world, however, I do not believe it to be a grave threat to the existence of our planet or its inhabitants. The scant historical comparison data we have shows that the earth has had seasons like this before. Which would suggest that it's unlikely that today's issues are caused by my two cars.

2.) God: The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it - Psalm 24:1. He built the place and will care for it until its usefulness is through. It's egotistical of us - of me - to think that I can change that.

However:

3.) Christ Followers: If we believe what Psalm 24 says, why aren't we the environmental leaders? Why aren't we proactively leading the movement to properly and care-FULLY steward His world?

Why aren't I?

Oh The Humanity

I have a friend in Atlanta that I was blessed to meet for lunch during a recent business trip. During our conversation, John Eldredge's name came up and he mentioned a friend of his that’s working with John on a project. He went on to say she disagrees with his ministry because it is focused too much on man and not enough on God.

But isn't God's ministry focused on man?

Now, before you shout me down, let me assure you I am not lessoning the holiness of God, His desire for our worship or His hatred of our sin. Nor am I suggesting that God exists to serve us. As His creation, we are less. Because of our sin, He alone is holy. And because of all that and more, He is rightfully jealous to have us serve Him.

But what about our humanity? It’s a crucial question that I believe we’ve answered wrong. And it’s killing us.

Oh the Humanity

In an attempt to ensure that we never forget the holiness, might and sovereignty of God, we’ve accepted a lie. A lie that says if it wasn’t for us, God would be happy. The lie that we – collectively and personally – are a burden to God. We believe God made a huge mistake when He created humans and suspect He wishes we weren’t around. At the very least, we’re reasonable certain He wishes we were less…well, human.

And so we imagine a regretful and disappointed God sitting with His head in His hands thinking: “Oh the humanity! If only they didn’t need friendship, companionship and worth all would be well. If they could stop needing meaning, purpose, food, shelter, money and sex things would be perfect. And what’s with their different personalities, tastes, interests and desires? Sheesh.”

The Living Dead

And so we live lives bent on destroying or denying our humanity and the result is lives that are all too often, half lived - or perhaps lived in two halves.

The first half, based on a misinterpretation of the scripture about contentment, is a self-centered deprivation. We accept jobs, friendships, marriages, organizations, ideas and…lives that we really don’t like because we believe it wrong to long for more. So despite dreams, visions, imaginings and Scriptures that overflow with hope, joy, peace and…LIFE…we sit. Content.

The second half, based on fear of who knows what, is outward focused criticism. We see this when the reaction to someone else’s dream, vision, imagining or revelatory Scripture is “be careful…!”. Like when a musician says they feel led to play secular music and everyone screams “but what about the drugs and sex!” Thing is, we all do this. You need only read comments on Facebook, blogs, twitter or hear people in hallways – our natural bent is to criticize and put down those that want to live. And we seem to always do it with a tone of “its sad you still struggle with that part of your humanity.”

Oh, the humanity!

But why? Where is it written that we should hate the things that make us human? The drives, ambitions, desires, needs and wants? Resist the urge to criticize and correct me – I know we need His redemptive work in us – but think about my question. Where in the bible does God hate us for our humanity? Isn’t it the opposite? Isn’t it our humanity that he wants saved? Redeemed? Healed?

He doesn’t hate hunger, he hates gluttony. He doesn’t hate wealth, he hates desception, robbery, hoarding and lording it over others. He doesn’t hate sex, he hates its misuse and abuse. He doesn’t hate big dreams, he hates selfish gain. And on and on.

So imagine God saying “Oh, the humanity. I love them, they are created in my image. Created to live with Me in relationship so we can make something of the world I have given them. Created to work the ground, solve the problems, invent great things and love each other. Created to succeed at being the very things I made them to be – individual creations displaying My glory in infinitely unique ways!”

What would happen? What would you tell others? What would you tell yourself? And what would you be free to do?

Checking Homework

Had to pass this along as a reminder to always check your kid's homework before they hand it in to the teacher:

(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day) 

Dear Mrs. Jones, 

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.    

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit.  I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it.    Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole.  It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely, 

Mrs.  Smith

Switchfoot "Mess Of Me"

Watch this video of Switchfoot once again proving they are the most significant and important band of our time. I URGE you to follow these guys - they have the most life focused, encouraging music made today.

Here's the chorus of their soon to be released song, Mess Of Me:

"I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!"

'Mess Of Me' - Switchfoot (new single from new album "Hello Hurricane" - out November 10, 2009)