Shoulders of a Man Part 2

I mentioned in my last post that I had read a captivating collection of insight, truth, beauty and sorrow entitled "A Wife's Eyes are the Window to a Man's Soul" written by Randy Elrod. I'll come back to truth again, but want to touch on insight.

I'm reminded of a passage in Wild At Heart where author John Eldredge writes of his own interactions with women. He describes talking with a woman and internally asking: "what is God revealing about Eve? What is He revealing about himself?" There's such wisdom and power in those questions.

We all have that opportunity everyday, all the time. This kind of awareness is evident in Randy's observations about his associates wives over the years. Oh that we would all live so aware.

Human interaction is so much more than sight, touch and sound. It is about life. It empowers, feeds and fills us, if we will let it.

I hope you will. 

The Desires of Your Heart

I'm posting a link to this Untemplater video interview of Seth Godin on all my blogs today for two reasons. And since my first reason is the same for all three postings, it's at the bottom. My number 2 reason, specific to this blog appears first.

2.) This quote: "who can I change, what sort of example can I set. How can I build a platform for spreading ideas? ...to spread ideas and to make positive change." Inspiring stuff.

Despite all the bad news and very real struggles in the world today, I hope you'll grasp the core of the message of this video: there has never been a more opportunity filled time in the history of the world than today. There's never been a time so supportive of individuality and creativity. And Godliness.

"The glory of God is man fully alive" - St. Ireneaus

Now is the time to faithfully commit to explore the God breathed desires of your heart. To seek what it is God meant when he created YOU! And not just explore, but to then put hope, then faith, and then ACTION into and GO!

Because the unprecedented opportunities are not about you. They never are.

My wife and I attended a leadership conference this past weekend where we heard the following quote from Pastor John Guest: "This is a generation (all ages today) in DESPERATE need of inspirational leadership. A generation longing for authentic, passionate followers of Christ." Yes indeed.

We need you. Live fully alive!

1.) It's brilliant and I'm not exaggerating. If you are wondering what's going on the world today - financially, socially, etc., etc., - this interview covers most all of it thoroughly and insight-FULLY in ways you will not find anywhere else. Not only does Seth see the big pictures, but he puts them in dead-simple terms that will impact your life. At least I hope they will. Two quotes:
- "The future will not be like the past only shinier"
- The current economic template "was invented by people who owned factories"

I cannot oversell the importance of watching this video and paying attention to what's said.


Enjoy

Switchfoot "Mess Of Me"

Watch this video of Switchfoot once again proving they are the most significant and important band of our time. I URGE you to follow these guys - they have the most life focused, encouraging music made today.

Here's the chorus of their soon to be released song, Mess Of Me:

"I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!"

'Mess Of Me' - Switchfoot (new single from new album "Hello Hurricane" - out November 10, 2009)

More About Covenant College

if you'd like more insight into our choice for our son's college education, read this post from Covenant's President, Dr. Neil Neilson. Be blessed:

Dr. Niel Nielson » Blog Archive » Welcoming New Students into the Covenant Community

Faith and the Art of Motorcycle Riding

My son and I took a beginners' motorcycle riding class last weekend. My wife - yes, really - suggested he sell his car during the first few years of college and get a bike to ride when he's home. I, in turn, suggested the riding class and volunteered to attend with him to make sure he was taught correctly.

Okay, I admit it, I've always wanted a bike and will get my own as soon as I can (I'll also get to use his while he's gone too). I know, life's tough.

Anyway, among the many things I learned in the course (and let me know if you'd like info, I highly recommend it) were three key takeaways:

1. The bike will go wherever your head turns.
2. The bike performs best under power.
3. Everyone's out to kill you, or something along those lines.

Just like life.

During the training we were given opportunities to manuever the bikes through different degrees of turns - both sharp and more rolling. I struggled with these seemingly simple tasks until the instructor told me to stop looking at the cones on the ground and turn my head towards where I wanted to go. I thought he was crazy when he said to simply look at the end of the turn and give it the gas. Then I did it and the affect was exhilerating. Not only did it go where I wanted it, but the bike was remarkably stable despite increasing speed.

My life goes wherever my head turns too. I can talk about not having enough time, wanting to do this or that, my heart's desire to finally wrestle crippling sins to the ground or follow my life's passions, but the fundamental truth is that where my head goes, so goes my life. And this explains why my life is often wobbly too.

Then there was the lesson about power. I had thought that power applied to the wheels would upset the balance of the bike and that lessoning the power or applying the brakes would bring it back under control. In fact, the complete opposite was true. As the instructor said, the bike is designed to move. Upright.

So am I.

I'm not designed to fear, hesitate, over think and plan. I'm designed to move under power. And just like I controlled the bike, I move best when I'm controlled too. And the only control that works is my God. Daily.

Which brings me to the last point. The instructor never told us to be aware that people would be out to kill us on a motorcycle. He didn't feel he had too. In fact, it wasn't about what he said at all. Rather, it was about the tone of what he said - a matter of fact, "you know it's true, don't you?" I sensed he believed it to be such a truth that it didn't warrant discussion.

I share his perspective. I mean, you do know that your joy, peace, wonder and life is opposed, don't you?
Don't you?

Unspeakably Sad

I LOVE this quote:

“The danger is that you will lead a respectable, decent, nonscandalous
life. But it will be busy, tired, human-powered life. That is
unspeakably sad.”
- John Ortberg

I found it on Travis Robertson's blog. Follow him on twitter at twitter.com/TRONash

Broken

I am broken.

I hope.

I hope I have finally come to the end of my rope. My hope. My way. My thinking. My strength. My trying.

I hope I have ‘cause it’s not working. The “I’ll figure it out, I’ll get better, I can stop if I have to, I can’t live without this, I don’t need any help, I’m okay this way, I’m generally good, maybe tomorrow” life isn’t working.

Thank God.

Thank God I’ve seen there’s more. And thank God I’ve realized I can’t get there on my own. I can’t figure it out, get better, stop, live without, be okay, good or last another day on my own.

I need three things in order of importance:

3 - I need the reality of what God sees in me and in the world. I need His perspective.
2 – I need people around me who see both of those too and point them out to me all the time.

I have both of those, but neither of them works without this:

1 – Scriptural humility.

I need a self-image consistent with the truth that I am a redeemed, mercy and grace empowered man in relationship with my Father in Heaven. Without that His perspective is nothing more than knowledge and the encouragement of friends is nothing more than empty words.

I don’t need knowledge and words, not by themselves. I need a faith-filled heart for them to root in. A heart that is first broken.

Thank God

Marriage Necessities 1 & 2

I recently found a blog I recommend called Simple Marriage. A few weeks ago they conducted a simple poll on the “necessities of marriage." Participants were asked to list the five or six most important things for a successful marriage. It got me thinking. And when I think, I write.

So here we go:

1 - Faith in God

I don’t know how people who don’t believe in God stay married.

No really, I don’t.

Which brings me immediately to my next necessity:

2 - Commitment to marriage

You have to be committed to something larger than yourself and larger than each other. Marriage is such a thing.

Marriage is the bedrock foundation of not only all of society, but most of the Word of God. From the early verses of Genesis to the end of the book, God’s heart for marriage is certain: it matters. Greatly. The fact that The Church (capitalized) is referred to as His bride clearly illustrates the importance of the covenant of marriage.

And covenant is key. Marriage is first and foremost a covenant. It’s a promise. And it can’t survive without it.

I don’t care how beautiful, handsome, talented, wonderful and/or PERFECT your spouse is, there will come a day when, well, you won’t like them. On top of that, there will always – and I mean always – be someone MORE beautiful, handsome, talented and/or PERFECT. And I promise you will meet them.

Often.

Everywhere.

Of course they won’t really be all those things, but it’ll feel like it when you meet them. And did I mention you will meet them? I promise you will.

My marriage could have ended multiple times were it not for our commitment to the covenant itself. But understand this, I am NOT saying that we have toughed it out because we don’t believe in divorce. I’m saying that we’ve always found the tools, assistance and support we’ve needed to make it work because we don’t believe in divorce. Out belief in marriage has always provided the motivation to figure out how to make it work. We’ve always figured it out and we always will.

One last thing on commitment to marriage: the absence of the word “your”. I’m not saying commitment to YOUR marriage, I’m saying commitment to marriage. Period.

This isn’t to say that the other person doesn’t matter, of course, but I'll cover that in Marriage Necessities 3.

Faith based living

From the end of my last post:

"The problem is this: Every time the government takes some of the trouble out of performing the functions of family, community, vocation, and faith, it also strips those institutions of some of their vitality--it drains some of the life from them."

I don't know that I've read a better description of what we've done to life. Or more sad.

It's a perfect description of what I see in far too many people. More precisely, what I don't see: life. It all makes sense of course. I mean, how can you know if you're living a "life well lived" if there's no challange to living? And how can we live if all we do is fear?

We can't."

We were not created to live in fear. We do not have the mental and physical capacities to fear for any length of time. Want to know what the true #1 killer of people is? Stress. Estimates place stress as the key or contributing cause of most illness at well over 60%. We're just not made for fear.

But we're not made for safety either. God didn't tell Adam and Eve to be careful. Quite the opposite, he told them to subdue the earth. Have you SEEN the earth? It's anything but safe. Not to mention the fact that the battle in Heaven, the one that led to the deception of Adam and Eve and everything that's followed, happened before they were created. God created mankind in the midst of war.

And made us warriors.

Do warriors fear? Absolutely. Fear is what keeps them alive. It's what keeps them alert to their surroundings and vigilant in physical and mental preparation. It's what motivates them to plan and strategize and in the end, act.

Take away fear and bad things happen to warriors. They become apathetic, satiated, sedentary and lazy. They also become unimaginative and bored. The only good thing that happens is they don't die. At least not physically.

Notice I said "take away fear." This is our most common reaction to fear. We want it removed, compartmentalized, managed and taken care of by someone else. The flaw in this thinking is that it's focused on the fear itself. And this focus on fear only compounds the problem and we become fear-FULL.

But we're called to be faithful warriors.

We serve the God of the Universe. The Creator, Lord and Victor. We have nothing to fear that he can't overcome.

With our help.

Yes, we - you and I - are involved in this thing called life. We have a place in the story - as faith-FULL warriors. We must have not only faith in God, but faith in our selves as the warrior partners. We have a part to play, not in the removal, compartmentalization, management or delegation of fear, but in the fighting and defeating of the roots of those fears.

This is our calling and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Fear based living

A friend of my recently posted a note entitled "Fear" on Facebook. In it, he rightly pointed out our improper obsession with fear. It's a topic I consider often as I see myself alternate between moments of great faith and moments of great fear.

Of course I want to live by faith and I'll continue to grow in that direction. I know what faith looks like and I know how to live it too, but that doesn't make it easy.

But then again, is it supposed to be?

And then I came across the text of a speech by Charles Murray that can rightly be called brilliant. Delivered to the American Enterprise Institutes Annual Dinner on March 2009, the speech builds a case for "American exceptionalism, in which individuals freely unite to construct a civic culture."

Read it here, it's well worth the time. But my purpose here is not pro-Americanism, it's pro-faith-FULL living.

Mr. Murray's assertion is built upon the dual premise of "a life well-lived" and "deep satisfaction."

"To become a source of deep satisfaction, a human activity has to meet some stringent requirements. It has to have been important (we don't get deep satisfaction from trivial things). You have to have put a lot of effort into it (hence the cliché "nothing worth having comes easily"). And you have to have been responsible for the consequences.

There aren't many activities in life that can satisfy those three requirements. Having been a good parent. That qualifies. A good marriage. That qualifies. Having been a good neighbor and good friend to those whose lives intersected with yours. That qualifies. And having been really good at something--good at something that drew the most from your abilities. That qualifies. Let me put it formally: If we ask what are the institutions through which human beings achieve deep satisfactions in life, the answer is that there are just four: family, community, vocation, and faith. Two clarifications: "Community" can embrace people who are scattered geographically. "Vocation" can include avocations or causes."

I don't know that I've read a better description of life. Or more exciting.

Continuing:

"Put aside all the sophisticated ways of conceptualizing governmental functions and think of it in this simplistic way: Almost anything that government does in social policy can be characterized as taking some of the trouble out of things. Sometimes, taking the trouble out of things is a good idea. Having an effective police force takes some of the trouble out of walking home safely at night, and I'm glad it does.

The problem is this: Every time the government takes some of the trouble out of performing the functions of family, community, vocation, and faith, it also strips those institutions of some of their vitality--it drains some of the life from them."

I don't know that I've read a better description of what we've done to life. Or more sad.

It's a perfect description of what I see in far too many people. More precisely, what I don't see: life.

It all makes sense of course. I mean, how can you know if you're living a "life well lived" if there's no challange to living? And how can we live if all we do is fear?

We can't.

...to be continued...

Thankful

We are all born with abilities. Some can sing, some can talk, some can build and some can think. We have the ability to improve these abilities too and/or discover those that we did not even know we have. Amazing.

These abilities are magnified however, when combined with one more: the ability to respond. Songs, words, buildings and business strategies are meaningless unless they are sung, spoken and created in response to needs. A broken heart is encouraged by a song. Ignorance is replaced through a knowledgeable word. A family gets a home through hard labor and a successful business provides jobs and supports a community.

This is responsibility and we all have it.

We all have the ability to respond to the world around us. To be moved to take action because of a need, opportunity, challenge, idea or plan. To do anything less is tragic.

It is tragic when no one responds to needs. People stay lonely, go hungry and remain homeless and jobless. Just exactly who is supposed to change these things if not the very people with the abilities to change them? The world does not need geniuses. It does not need “them”. It needs you - a unique combination of interests, ideas, abilities and spheres of influence. No one else has the solutions you have because no else has your exact combination.

And not responding is tragic for you too. Teddy Roosevelt can tell you why:

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause;

who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”

Taking responsibility is HARD, it’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to take everything you’ve got because it will change everything you are. Will you be good at it? No, but you’ll get better. Will all your ideas be great and accepted? No, but you’ll think of better ones. Will everyone be thankful for your help? Probably not. So? Keep singing, speaking, building, thinking or whatever it is you were meant to do.

Be thankful for all your abilities. And be thankful for the things to which you can respond. If you have responded and have seen the fruits - to others and yourself - give thanks. If you have not yet responded, commit to change.

Commit to live.

Make an inventory and clean up your home

Timely suggestion for me and it just might be for you too!

Apartment Therapy Chicago | How To: Make an Inventory of Your Home ... And Use It to Declutter

Communion

One of the responsibilities of the Elders of our church is to lead communion. As a new Elder, this morning is my first time. We'll see how it goes, but here are my thoughts on the subject.

When Christ initiated this moment 2000 years ago, there must have been a reason. And as I've considered what to say about communion, I've been struck by the fact that the reason goes beyond the fact that we're forgetful. Of course He wants us to remember Him and what He did, but the reason beyond that is the why.

Christ's death, burial and resurrection accomplished two things. They are both gifts. They both require faith. They are both complete. But they are not the same.

One requires nothing of us, the other, everything.
One is about rest, and one is about action.
One is about peace, one is about war.
One is about escaping death, the other, living life.
One is about freedom and the second? Response-ability.

The First
We have been redeemed. Christ died to take our sin to the grave once and for all and holy, righteous and complete new creatures. This loving gift is ours to have, and we are called to remember this - and allocate it into our lives - each time we take communion. Nothing is required of us to take this gift of rest, peace, escape from death and freedom.

And freedom is the why of this first part of communion. We are called upon to remember that we are new creatures no longer enslaved to the power of sin. We are free. Free to be all that was in the mind of our Creator when we were first designed. Free.

The Second
But it strikes me that we are free whether we remember it or not. There is nothing in scripture that says we must remember we are saved in Christ in order for it to be true. We are saved in Christ. Period. End of story, done.

But Christ did not die on the cross to enable us to sit at the table of communion and remember He died on the cross. He died on the cross so His plans could be fulfilled despite the fallen, dying, decomposing world in which we live. He died and rose to enable us to live out the purpose within our hearts - the ones HE put there. He died to empower us to live from our hearts.

The bible is explicit in teaching us that the heart is the wellspring of life, that God has put desires in our hearts, and that we will need Christ's help desperately in order to live out those desires. THIS is why we're called upon to take communion: it is a time to remember that it is through Christ that we can do all things. It's about response-ability.

Christ's death, burial and resurrection empowers our ability to respond to our calling and the world around us. A calling to power-full relationships, marriages and positions. Having life sustaining relationships, passionate and loving marriages, and positions of influence and power in the marketplace and community requires action. It requires everything we are, and we cannot possibly give everything we are without remembering the One who made us. The One who died and rose again to sustain us and moves us in living our design every day.

Lord, as we take the bread and the wine, give us your mercy and grace in abundance. Give us your mercy in a way that tangibly washes us clean. A clean that we know to be true in such a way that our knowledge of being FREE cannot be shaken. Give us this foundation. and give us your grace. Your empowering grace to MOVE in the things we know we are called to. The things of your word, the things of our prayers and the things that you've placed deep in our hearts. Give us the grace to live this life you've given us.

In Christ. Amen.

Looking Beyond Our Imagined Good

"Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating." Simone Weil

It deeply saddens me that on the whole, Christians have done an awful job creating a vision of GOOD that is "new, marvolous and intoxicating." Instead, we've focused on two important, but completed aspects of our faith.

The first is redemption. It is important because it is the foundational truth for everything we believe. Christ's death, burial and resurrection redeemed us from the curse of sin and has made us new again. It is also complete. There is nothing more to do beyond His saving act.

Second is "the don'ts." Outside of salvation, the other focus of the church is what not to do or say. We've reduced our remaining time on earth to a mission focused on staying within a series of restricting and stifling rules. Now, like redemption, these are important because they are absolute truth and we are called to follow them. But once again, these rules are complete - they were written a LONG time ago.

Now, let me stress that I am NOT saying we should not focus on these things. We should. They are two pillars of the faith. But there's more that we never mention. We tell folks to NOT do this, or NOT do that, without giving them compelling alternatives. Nature abhors a void, and not offering replacements for the bad stuff means it will ultimately come back in. This has left people to lead grasping lives that are, or will be, "gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring."

It's sad. The people around us are literally DYING to see life manifested. Grab hold of God's gift.

21 Years With Beauty

Here's what I wrote about our 21st Anniversary this past February:

21 years ago today, after 26 days of dating and 3 months of engagement, Jill and I were married.

That we're still together after 21 years is not a surprise. Of course I'm amazed, thankful, awed, intermittently frustrated and hopeful, but not at all surprised.

I'm amazed because Jill is far more beautiful today than the day we were married - and that is saying a lot. What takes away my breath, though, is the depth of her beauty. It comes from a righteous heart tempered by many storms and struggles, that is determined to grow in faith. A heart that is determined to turn those struggles into victories. A heart that is growing in the realization of purpose and direction.

I'm thankful to a God that has never let us forget that we knew we were to be married and that divorce was NOT an option. More specifically, I'm thankful that on the days that one of us DID forget, the other one didn't. In the end, the fact that both of us have fought for the marriage when the other has forgotten has made what we have all the richer.

I'm awed by the character of Jill. She has stuck by a man that has not always been worthy. She has held tight to God and His promises even when I was working against His plan. She has advised, nurtured, loved and supported until the man that she saw and the marriage she believed in became a reality. She has also touched others, starting wih our children. I will never be able to repay her for the sacrifice, based solely on blind faith, of homeschooling Kayce and Jennah. They are what they are because their mom has laid down so much to just BE there.

I'm intermittently frustrated and hopeful because that's life. Our life is not perfect and we've both bent, twisted, altered and given up on our hopes and dreams until it hurts. Man it hurts. But then there's the deep place inside that says stop and look closer - WOW. I have hope that despite laying down so much, what we've built and will CONTINUE to build is far beyond anything I could've ever imagined.

Yes, I'm amazed, thankful, awed, intermittently frustrated and hopeful, but not at all surprised. I'm not surprised that we've lasted 21 years. The day we got married, we knew it was for life. That was our desire, hope and plan. And I'm not surprised that in the tough times - and there have been the worst imaginable tough times - God met us with exactly what we needed to stay together.

I'm not surprised there have been tough times. Joshua makes it clear why there are "giants in the land" and I'm thankful for them. We have a depth and richness to our relationship born out of those times. Jill and I have fought, clawed, sweated and bled for what we have and we are wealthy for it. We have lived life, and lived it to the full. And what a life it's been.

Happy Anniversary Jill.

Seduction and Wealth

In the post I just finished, "More About Men," I attempted to make a point about the counterfeits of the enemy and used Victoria's Secret and Donald Trump to illustrate. Let me clarify what I'm saying.

As we look around this world in which we live for meaning and direction we would all do well to remember the Author and Creator of everything as well as His non-creative, deceiving enemy. We would do well to understand that the enemy cannot build, create, design, invent, solve or innovate.

The enemy did not create the beauty, nor the attraction men and women have towards it, that is blasted on our screen in Victoria's Secret commercials. God did. Am I saying that the commercials are okay? No. That beauty, displayed that way, is NOT meant to be viewed by everyone and used to sell stuff. In addition, the commercials put doubts into the minds of both men and women about measuring up to impossible standards.

But would I be wrong to suggest that the power portrayed in those commercials pails in comparison to the power Eve had on Adam when she was first created? Was that power good or bad? What was it for? What does this mean for Godly relationships between men and women?

Same thing with Donald Trump. There's no doubt that he's a driven man (and not by money, by the way), but can you really say the desire to succeed at something grand is unGodly when Adam and Eve were told to explore and subdue the world? What does this mean for Godly men and women today? What does God want us to do, how high should we be aiming for?

I still don't feel like I'm nailing my point, but what I'm trying to say is that there are reasons why we Christians seem to want the same things "the world" wants. Because they aren't "the world's", they're God's. And seeing them in this way - cutting through the deception of a counterfitting and non-creative enemy - gives us motivation and reason to live powerfully and make a difference.

Forgive me if I'm off a bit in expressing my thoughts, I'll keep working at it until it's all out.

More About Men

I last wrote - far too long ago - asking "Where Are All the Men?" I was frustrated at the time and that feeling hasn't gone away. But I'm not frustrated because of the lack of men, I'm frustrated because of the two reasons I believe there are no men.

First, the enemy has convinced believers that the entire purpose of Christ's death and resurrection was forgiveness and reconciliation. We've been lulled into a self-satisfying waiting game believing that we've been given eternal life with God – a life that begins when we die or when Christ makes his triumphant return. Don't get me wrong, this is indeed an important part of Jesus' victorious resurrection, but it is only a half truth.

Second, the enemy has crafted a desirable set of counterfeit objectives for men (and women) to live for. Well, let me rephrase this second point. My REAL frustration is that we – believers – have missed the truths behind these counterfeits. Aghast at a Victoria's Secret commercial, we teach that seduction is bad. Misunderstanding the motivations of a Donald Trump, we teach that wealth and success are bad. And don't even get me started with our love/hate relationship with sports.

We must see through these lies if we want men and what they can bring. We must believe that beyond salvation, Christ's mission was one of restoration. Restoration to LIFE – and a power filled life at that. A life meant to be lived, explored, molded, crafted and expanded. A life meant to be acted upon and fought for. And we must see that the waiting game lie and the counterfeit objectives are the enemies of this age and our very lives are the way we defeat them.

Marriage isn't simply a commitment for life; it is supposed to be a passion filled relationship full of growth, excitement and adventure. It is the earthly, source of power and encouragement for all that a man and woman can do. Parenting isn't just about teaching children wrong from right; it is the foundation on which civilization rests. Work isn't for food and shelter; it's for inventions, solutions, employment and wealth – for the worker, the community, the nation and the world. And Christ didn't come just for salvation; He came to give life to people He needs for History.
There is no such thing as man who doesn't matter and there is nothing more important and desperately needed than a man boldly living a Christian life.